I just heard someone say that if you don’t like sitting down, you’ll love parenting a toddler. I actually laughed out loud because it’s so true. Between the constant following, the playground visits, and the chase-me-around-the-house games, sitting feels like a luxury from another life. Toddlers’ little legs want to go, go, go all the time. And at this point in their development, that’s normal.
If you’re in the thick of toddlerhood right now, feeling like you’re running on empty while your little one runs on pure energy, I want you to know something: This intense phase won’t last forever. After years of working with families, here’s what I’ve learned are the 3 things your go-go-go toddler actually needs from you and 3 things that you can skip.
3 Toddler Needs
1. Love
Your toddler will be grown before you know it—really! So cuddle, kiss, and hug him as much as you can. Lavish love on him with your words and your actions.
And if your child is a typical active toddler, love often takes the form of playing with your child and giving him an outlet for his energy.
2. Attention
You’ll need breaks, so take them. But when you’re with your child, be present. On a walk? Put your phone away. When she asks you to play, try setting aside the dishes or laundry. At bedtime, slow down and savor those snuggles. Your undivided attention makes her feel seen and secure.
3. Patience
Toddlers can tug at your heartstrings, but they can also try your patience. Know that you will have moments when you’re frustrated with your little one. But also remember that your toddler is barely out of babyhood. He’ll need plenty of opportunities to learn a lesson. He’ll get cranky when he’s tired. He’s not a little adult; he’s a toddler. Need help? Here’s How to Love Your Child With Patience.
3 Things to Skip
1. Harshness
Yes, you’ll come close to losing it with your child. Yes, you’ll want to say, “I just told you not to do that!” But whatever your frustration level, you can always choose to be kind in your firmness. If you feel like you’re going to lose it with your toddler, leave the room, or close your eyes and pray.
2. Screen Time
I know it’s tough for you, Mom. You hear that educational shows and apps are good for kids. You see that playing with your phone or iPad calms him down. However, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children 18 months and younger have no screen time, except for video chatting with an adult. For toddlers 18 to 24 months old, they advise that screen time be limited to watching educational programming with a caregiver. Your child will enjoy other things. Trust me. Try proven screen time alternatives or get on the floor and play with him.
3. Pressure
You really don’t have to start your toddler in dance, soccer, or reading lessons. There is plenty of time for that. Again, remind yourself that your toddler has years and years to grow and learn. Embrace the season you’re in and take a class with your toddler instead. Your child will get to practice social skills and you will get to connect with other moms in the same season as you.
What do you think a toddler needs most?
