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5 Ways to Keep First Things First in Your Family

“We just got carried away!” my friend said to me as we sat together, watching our kids play catch in the back yard. She was referring to her family’s tumultuous experience with travel baseball. What started as a fun opportunity to help her son grow his skills ended up running their lives. Her other kids resented their brother for all the time his games took, the family missed church on Sundays, and baseball became the only thing they talked about. She said, “As much as we loved how it started, we couldn’t keep up the pace and still keep first things first.”

Those words, “keep first things first,” got me thinking. What’s the “first thing” in my family? What is it in yours? Moms really need to think about what’s most important, not just to them, but to the family as a whole. Once we’ve done that, we can make an effort to shape our lives around those most important things. Determining your priorities helps create a rudder that steers your family’s ship and keeps you from veering off course. Here are 5 ways to keep first things first in your family’s life.

Determining your priorities helps create a rudder that steers your family's ship and keeps you from veering off course. Click To Tweet

1. Determine what’s important.

If you’re married, do this step with your husband. Find some time when you can sit and talk about the hopes and dreams you have for your family, and agree on what’s most important. Think about what habits you want to carry over from your own childhood and what moments with your kids are the most impactful. When I had an opportunity to take different hours at a job, I realized I wouldn’t be able to drive my kids to school. First things first for me at that time meant starting the day together and sending them off to school.

2. Talk to your kids.

If your children are old enough, share your list with them. If they weren’t already clear on where you stood on priorities for your family, share that information with them now. In my friend’s family, one of the things they put first is family dinner. Everyone agreed they enjoy the conversations and sitting around the table together.

3. Write it down.family name

Actually write out what you’ve decided are the most important things in your family’s life. You can even write them on a chalkboard and hang them in your kitchen for everyone to see. Use our printable Family Mission Statement and refer to it frequently to ask if your actions and habits reflect your priorities.

4. Come up with a plan.

Now that you’ve identified what’s most important, figure out how to build your family life around that. In our family, we do our best to put God first. Since prayer is an important part of our relationship with God, we pray as a family before bed. Now that our children know the routine, it’s become part of our family life. Put routines in place to support your priorities.

5. Assess as you go.

Every so often, examine your life and see if you are keeping first things first. If you’re not, determine what you need to change or do away with. My friend had always made it a point to visit her grandfather in his assisted living facility. She said that when baseball took over, she went for two months without visiting him. It was a clear sign that it was getting in the way of what was most important. Sometimes priorities change, and you can adjust them as you go. That’s a great reminder that there are seasons in life and “not right now” doesn’t mean “not ever.”

How do you keep first things first in your family?

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