Before our kids even got their first phones, we set a family rule: No phones at the dinner table. But when our oldest finally got hers, the constant “ding” of texts from the other room forced us to amend the rule to: Phones get turned off during dinner. It didn’t take me long to realize that although she signed a phone contract, our kid still needed to learn basic digital manners.
Gen Alpha is growing up surrounded by screens, texts, and group chats. And beyond internet safety tips, we need to teach our kids how to be kind and respectful online. Netiquette for teens and tweens begins at a young age. Start with these 10 digital manners every child should know by age 13.
What is netiquette?
Netiquette is simply good manners in the digital world. Think of it as the “please” and “thank you” of texting, posting, and online interactions. It means being thoughtful about what we say and share, considerate of others’ feelings, and mindful that there’s a real person behind every screen.
Why is netiquette important?
Our kids will spend so much of their lives communicating through screens. A single text can make or
break a friendship. A careless post can sting for weeks. And teachers, employers, and even college admissions officers often notice how young people present themselves online. Teaching netiquette early helps kids avoid digital missteps and builds empathy that carries into face-to-face relationships.
What are the rules of netiquette?
The golden rule applies offline and online: “Treat others the way you’d want to be treated.” But online, it’s a little more nuanced without being able to hear the tone of voice or pick up on body language. That’s why these 10 digital manners help kids think before they type (or post) and remember that every message impacts a real person.
1. Think before you post or send.
Tone is tricky in text messages. “That’s fine.” can sound like “THAT’S FINE 🙄.” Even memes and GIFs that seem harmless can land wrong.
How to teach it: Before hitting send, teach your child to ask: “Would I say this to her face?” If not, she shouldn’t text it. Role-play a few scenarios to show how punctuation, emojis, and phrasing change how messages come across.
2. Put your phone down when people are talking.
Nothing says “you’re not important” like staring at a screen while someone’s speaking. It makes people feel invisible. A little eye contact and a smile show respect and kindness, whether it’s a family member or that teen bagging groceries.
How to teach it: Make “phone face-down” a family habit whenever someone is talking. When you catch your child looking at his phone, gently remind him to make eye contact to show he’s listening.
3. Text like the kind of friend you’d want.
The basic “K” or thumbs-up reply can come across as dismissive. Short responses can unintentionally make friends feel unimportant or like the other person doesn’t care about what they’re saying. But adding a little warmth, such as “Sounds good! See you then,” makes it read friendlier.
How to teach it: Challenge your child to make his next five replies at least three words long. When you see him texting, occasionally ask, “How do you think that message will make your friend feel?” to build empathy into his texting habits.
4. Ask permission before sharing.
No sharing photos or videos of friends or family, forwarding private messages, tagging without asking, or screenshotting conversations. While it might seem harmless (or funny), sharing without permission can feel like a betrayal of trust.
How to teach it: The next time your child wants to snap or text a photo, remind her to ask everyone in it first. Model this by asking her before you post a photo of her too. Teaching netiquette to teens and tweens means walking the walk ourselves.
5. Include others as you would in real life.
A slumber party post can sting when you’re the kid not invited. Even group chats with inside jokes can leave classmates feeling excluded. Sometimes the kindest choice is to keep special moments private.
How to teach it: Before posting, have her ask, “If I weren’t in this photo, how would I feel seeing it?” Encourage her to share group moments directly with the people who were there rather than broadcasting them publicly, where they might accidentally hurt someone’s feelings.
6. Don’t ghost your friends (or family).
Leaving someone on “read” forever is the texting equivalent of walking away in the middle of a conversation. It can make people feel ignored or worried that they did something wrong. But a quick “I’ll text later” shows respect.
How to teach it: Show your child how to use quick replies like “Can’t talk now” or “I’ll respond later.” And explain that different relationships have different response expectations. You definitely expect a timely response from your kid, but that friend from class can wait until after dinner.
7. Handle disagreements offline.
Text arguments escalate fast. What starts as a minor misunderstanding can turn into a friendship-ending fight. So when things start to go sideways, teaching kids to take it offline is basic netiquette for teens.
How to teach it: Help your child learn the warning signs of an argument flaring up. When she feels her heart racing, wants to type in ALL CAPS, or finds herself re-reading (and retyping) messages multiple times, it’s time to text, “Hey, can we talk about this in person?”
8. Don’t blow up someone’s phone.
One message is enough. Twelve follow-ups with “???????” is basically yelling in someone’s face. If it’s urgent or an emergency, call. Otherwise, practicing patience is part of good manners.
How to teach it: Tell your child to wait 30 minutes before sending a follow-up text. If she’s feeling worried about not getting a response, remind her that delayed replies usually have nothing to do with her and everything to do with the other person being busy.
9. Give credit where it’s due.
Taking someone’s content without proper credit can hurt feelings, damage relationships, and even lead to trouble with plagiarism or copyright issues.
How to teach it: Encourage her to send a quick “I love this! Can I share it and tag you?” Getting into the habit of giving credit shows respect for creativity.
10. Protect what’s personal.
Passwords, addresses, location-sharing, and other personal safety information should stay private. Sharing this information can put your child and family at risk both online and offline.
How to teach it: Use the “house key” analogy. Ask: “Would you give your house key to that classmate?” Help her identify what counts as personal information by going through her apps together and turning off unnecessary location services or public profile information.
What digital manners would you add to this list to teach netiquette to teens and kids?
