“Don’t sit too close to the TV or you’ll hurt your eyes,” my mom used to warn every Saturday morning as I edged closer to watch my favorite cartoons. By the time I became a mother, I worried less about how close my kids sat to the screen and more about how much time they spent looking at one. But as my children grew older and the digital world evolved, my concern shifted again. Now I worry most about online safety for kids.
However, not all digital dangers are in-your-face apparent. What kids watch, click, and scroll through subtly shapes how they see themselves, what they believe, and even how they learn. Here are 5 ways everyday tech is shaping our kids’ thoughts, behaviors, and values (and how you can parent with confidence, not panic).
1. “Innocent” screen time can shape their identities.
It starts subtly like with a few YouTube shorts, a binge-worthy series, or a tween influencer with just the right aesthetic. But over time, these “harmless” choices begin shaping how our kids see themselves. Are they funny or smart enough? Stylish enough? Worthy of attention at all? That constant comparison chips at their still-growing confidence.
Influencers and celebrities aren’t just selling products. They’re selling identities and lifestyles to match. While it may look like your child is watching dance tutorials or comedy skits, he’s also absorbing values and identity cues along the way (and not necessarily the character traits you want to instill in your child).
How to protect your child: Instead of just monitoring time, talk regularly with your child about what he watches and how he feels after watching it. (And keep a check on how he acts afterward, too.) Watch together and ask, “What do you think makes someone popular/successful/good looking?” or “How do you think you’d feel if you tried to be like that?”
2. Social media quietly warps their worldview.
With all the funny memes, trending reels, and influencers who seem “just like me,” social media feels mostly harmless beyond the obvious brain rot and time waste. But behind the scenes, algorithms are personalizing and shaping what our kids see. Feeds can slowly fill with exaggerated opinions, unrealistic lifestyles, or conspiracies and half-truths wrapped in humor or fear.
And often, our kids don’t even realize it’s happening to them. While a 2024–25 Pew Research Center survey says 48% of teens say social media has a mostly negative effect on people their age (up from 32% in 2022), only 14% admit it impacts them personally.
How to protect your child: Start by explaining how algorithms work: “The app notices what you watch, then slowly shows you more intense versions to keep you hooked.” Then give your child a simple filter to spot those subtle social media dangers: “Is this true, or just trending?”
3. Apps and games are engineered to hook them.
Of course, kids’ games are designed to be fun! It’s why we find ourselves playing Candy Crush, too. But they are also designed to keep kids coming back. Many use “variable reward loops” (the same trick slot machines use) to deliver unpredictable dopamine hits. Since the brain can’t figure out when the reward jackpot will arrive, whether it’s a loot box, a streak bonus, or a surprise prize, kids keep playing. The reward anticipation quickly turns play into habit.
How to protect your child: Before downloading a new app, research it using parent-review sites and read the app store fine print for in-app purchases or ads. Better yet, play the game alongside your child. Let her teach you how to play and use that moment to talk about how games are designed to keep players hooked.
4. Strangers have more access than you think.
Back in the day, “don’t talk to strangers” meant avoiding creepy people at the playground. Today, those strangers are in our kids’ pockets. From Discord’s direct messaging to anonymous Q&A platforms like NGL, many apps give predators easier access to kids. And location sharing on apps can reveal where kids are spending their time. Even kids who “know better” can be caught off guard, especially when someone online acts like a peer or flatters them first.
How to protect your child: Parental controls are essential, but online safety for kids is also about awareness. Teach your child to spot digital red flags, and set a family “gut check” rule: If anything online feels off (too flattering, too personal, or just confusing), talk to a parent. And make sure your child knows she won’t get in trouble for coming to you first.
5. Digital shortcuts can cheat real learning.
When math gets tricky (um, quadratic equations) or writing a paper about Shakespeare’s sonnets fuels overwhelm, it’s tempting to ask ChatGPT. However, relying too much on AI can lead to skimming, copying, and clicking “submit” without truly understanding the content. Real learning requires kids to wrestle with the subject matter, make mistakes, and persevere through the frustration of not knowing.
How to protect your child: Instead of banning these tools at home, teach your child how to use AI wisely. Show him how to summarize answers in his own words or use it as a study partner to write potential test questions rather than a shortcut. Say, “Let’s use this to get unstuck, not to skip the thinking part.” This builds discernment, not dependence.
What concerns about online safety for kids do you have, and how are you protecting your child?
