My husband Josh and I are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary this year. As I was looking at some of our wedding pictures recently, I couldn’t help but smile at how carefree, stress-free, and rested we looked! Our life before kids.
Of course, all these years later, Reese and Jack are the best part of our life together. So when I see old pictures or videos of us when our children were tiny, sure, we look exhausted, but we look so happy! Life with children is different, and it’s challenged me in ways that I didn’t even know existed. But I’m a better person because of it. And when I accept these 5 realities of life with kids, I’m also a better mom.
1. There is no perfection in parenting.
I am a perfectionist and have been for a long time. I’m harder on myself than I am on other people. It started when I trained as a ballerina, and that tendency is still there, like when I rewatch one of my broadcasts and analyze every word I said. But in parenting, perfection doesn’t exist!
Knowing this makes me a better mom because I feel less guilty when I do fall short, and I can keep focusing on what really matters: letting Reese and Jack see how I accept my imperfections, admit when things go wrong, and even laugh at my mistakes. I want them to know that they have value because of who they are, not because they’re perfect.
2. Schedules are just suggestions.
Children do not get sick on a schedule. Their bad dreams don’t happen when it’s convenient for us. And their meet-the-teacher event might take place right in the middle of our workday. I lived through this one recently, and it turned out to be a great day. My work team had my back, and I accepted that life with kids means leaning into the chaos when plans change unexpectedly.
I can be a better mom when I accept that life is messy. I no longer expect my days to go like clockwork. My reaction to life’s disruptions teaches my kids that it’s important to keep things in perspective.
3. Creativity is our friend.
Creativity helps me figure out ways to get things done. I love to cook. But cooking with two little kids playing at your feet or wanting to help looks a little different. I’ve made entire meals using one hand while balancing Jack on my hip! I’ve switched reading time to the mornings on days when I know I won’t be home at bedtime. And I’ve let Reese “help” me get ready so that I can spend time with her before I leave for work.
Once I accepted that life with kids meant finding new ways of doing things, I felt a lot less frustrated. Now I try to see challenges as opportunities to be creative.
4. Romance looks different.
An old Instagram post I watched recently shows Josh and me making dinner for an at-home date night when Jack was two months old. There was wine! Baby bottles! Candles! Burping! And a romantic hug with adorable tiny Jack kicking away in his baby seat and our dog acting like nothing unusual was happening!
Life with kids has given me the chance to see Josh in a new light. I already admired so much about him before we became parents. But the strength, patience, and caring he shows as a father inspire me to be an even better mom because he gives his all to being a great dad. And while romance might look different than in our pre-parenting days, the love that surrounds it is even deeper.
5. It’s OK to ask for help.
I’ve talked before about how I thought I wouldn’t be able to balance being a good mom and having a demanding career. But since having kids, I’ve realized that women are capable of more than we think we are. It’s not easy, but we figure it out because we have to—for the sake of our children.
Having said that, though, I’ve come to accept that life with kids means asking for help when you need it. I turn to Josh, to my supportive coworkers, and to my family. As amazing as moms are, there are days we can’t do it alone. Admitting that makes me a better mom because not only do I get the support I need to parent well, but I also show my kids that it’s OK to ask for help.
Life with kids is different, but boy, is it wonderful.
What do you love the most about life with kids?
