If someone asked you what you and your husband fight about, you could probably rattle off two or three issues that come up over and over. What if that same person asked you what you don’t fight about? I’m talking about the things you two have figured out or that you’re on the same page about. In my marriage, one of those things is working on projects together. We know that if there’s a task, like grocery shopping or pulling weeds, we’re going to do it together.
To that, you might say, “No way. We divide and conquer that kind of stuff.” Cool! You do you. But there are a few areas of marriage that are good for all couples to be on the same page about. If you see these 4 and know you’re not on the same page or even in the same chapter, it’s worthwhile to talk about how to see eye to eye.
1. How You Spend Money
Although one of us is naturally the “spender” and the other the “saver,” we’ve had very few fights over the years about money. Much of this is due to the fact that we’ve both understood the importance of spending our money frugally and practicing delayed gratification. We never have to worry about each other spending frivolously or racking up debt by spending money we don’t have. Living within our means has always been an underlying rule.
That doesn’t mean you have to operate in the exact same way, but you need a plan for how you’re going to spend. If this type of understanding isn’t present in your marriage, why not roll up your sleeves together and do whatever it takes to get on the same page financially?
2. Making Big Decisions
In our relationship, we don’t make big decisions without being on the same page. So we talk to each other first, whether it be something obvious like booking a vacation or something less obvious like buying a piece of furniture. However, we take it a step further by including decisions like scheduling times we’ll be out of town, making financial commitments like a monthly subscription service, or saying yes to something in the evenings or other scheduled family times.
We’ve understood the principle that as a married couple, we are one, and what one of us does has an effect on the other. So we’ve always tried to talk about things that will impact both of us prior to making those decisions.
3. Being Open With One Another
One of the keys to our marriage has been an understanding that there is nothing off limits for us to talk about, ask about, or hold each other accountable for. We each have the right to speak into each other’s lives by simply saying, “Hey, we need to talk.” And when those times come, we know to take each other seriously. It’s been a gift for our marriage, and it’s been great for our kids to witness. If this kind of policy seems like a foreign concept in your marriage, remember you and your husband are a team. Both of you have to check your motivation before raising an issue and listen with an open heart.
Remember you and your husband are a team. Click To Tweet4. Your Spirituality
Being on the same page in our faith lives has been the greatest asset to my marriage. We can ask each other for prayer, sit holding hands in church, and lean on our shared faith during the ups and downs of life within our family. Many couples aren’t really sure where the other person stands because, in many ways, faith is a personal, internal experience. Don’t be afraid to bring it up with your husband. You never know. He might want to start a new habit like a daily devotional, attending church, or praying together before meals and bed.
There are many more areas where you probably want to be on the same page with your husband. What’s one big one?
