When my caller I.D. indicated the high school calling, I immediately picked up. “This is Mr. P, the vice principal,” an unfamiliar voice said. “Your son—” I gulped. But it turned out my child wasn’t in trouble. Rather, his computer had been hacked and the VP wanted me to know the details. The story was so strange that once we hung up, I called my husband.
You know it’s important when someone skips texting and goes straight to dialing! But instead of real phone calls, we need to make some different calls in marriage if we want to see improvements or keep our relationships going strong. These calls require initiative. Here are 7 calls you can make for a stronger connection in marriage.
1. Call the shots.
My friend said for her birthday, she wanted her husband to pick the restaurant and the reservation time. “I wanted a night off from making decisions,” she said. I think we all appreciate when our husbands plan things. But sometimes, it’s necessary for us to call the shots, especially if we want to see change or create more romance. Going to bed at separate times or watching shows in separate rooms might be the pattern you’ve fallen into. But if you want a stronger connection in marriage, you might need to call the shots for a while.
If eating together’s a priority, let your husband know. If he sees it’s important to you, he may pick up on that and help. Calling the shots for a time means you’re taking action to benefit you both.
2. Call it like it is.
“I think you’re working too much,” I told my husband as he sat in bed with a fever and chills. “You’re not taking care of yourself.” Too weak to argue, he simply nodded. Sometimes, he’s not going to like what I have to say, but when we’re honest, it builds trust. If you scratch the car, for example, it might be tempting to hide it to avoid conflict. But over time, these things will build and become a wedge between you. As Dave and Ashley Willis write for Focus on the Family, “[I]f you want a fulfilling and deeply satisfying marriage, it’s important to be transparent with each other.”
3. Call (pet) names.
An interesting tidbit about my friend Lisa: She and her husband call each other BunBun. And yes, it originated with a reference to his derriere! Do you have a pet name for your hubby? According to research in Scientific American, pet names can be a sign of love and intimacy, as long as both people are into them. Sociology professor Pepper Schwartz adds, “[P]et names are important as shorthand for admiration and affection.”
Nicknames become “insider” language and part of the fabric of a relationship. So, whether it’s “sweetie,” “Mr. Muscle,” “Sugar Lips,” or something else, resurrect the old pet name or create a new one for a deeper connection in marriage.
4. Call his bluff.
Does your husband say he wants to change a bad habit like eating too much junk food but then doesn’t follow through? Maybe he’s all about getting a promotion at work but doesn’t make the effort. If he’s all talk and no action, you might have to call his bluff. Speak up to help him become a better version of himself! If he knows he’s got you on his side, willing to (kindly) hold him accountable, it could build a deeper connection in marriage.
5. Be on call.
I’m sometimes guilty of seeing a text from my husband and not responding. Understandable, right? I think most moms are busy at any given time during the day. But because I’ve been thinking lately about our relationship and what it means to me, I’m trying to get back to my husband within a reasonable timeframe. Yes, we’ve got a lot going on. But, when possible, it’s not a bad idea to be willing to pick up or text back. Consider it this way: He’s thinking of you. And maybe he’s hoping you’re thinking of him too.
6. Call it a day.
Lately, I’ve been calling it a day after 11 o’clock at night. Sometimes, my husband’s in bed before I am because I have one last thing to do. But that tells him I’m prioritizing everything else before him. If you want a stronger connection in marriage, go to bed together. And better yet, turn in early. Whatever you had to do last minute can wait.
If you want a stronger connection in marriage, go to bed together. Click To Tweet7. Call on God.
Calling on God isn’t a last resort, but it’s down here on the list because it’s the last thought I want to leave you with. No matter who you’re married to, there will be hills to climb and valleys to stroll. In our marriage, my husband and I pray with our kids at night. When praying becomes a habit, we tend to call on God in good times and bad. And for me, I see it as a way for my husband and me to build not just stronger faith but a stronger connection in marriage.
What do you do for a stronger connection in marriage?
