My teenage son has grown over six inches in the past year. Last night, as he walked past my husband, I nearly fell out of my chair when I realized they are the same height. “Stand back-to-back!” I demanded, to which my son happily obliged. I couldn’t believe it. Either they were the same height or my son’s thick curls put him a smidge taller. “When did this happen?” I cried. My son gave us the type of grin that told everyone he was proud, even if he had no control over his growth.
Of course, we never see our kids growing physically before our eyes. It sort of catches us by surprise. But growth of character is different. It’s like a gear, turning and turning until finally—it catches. And something pops out of your teen’s mouth that you’ve never heard before, but in a good way! It sounds startlingly mature. And in that moment, you witness the most beautiful growth a mom could ever want for her child: personal growth. Be on the lookout for these 5 times when you see your child growing up right before your eyes.
1. When He Admits Wrongdoing Without Being Prompted
Before I saw growth in this department, I’d often tell my teen, “It takes a big person to admit to being wrong.” I said it often, reminding him that no one likes to be wrong. It took a while, but I worked to teach him that showing humility is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. If he is confident enough to appear vulnerable, he has the strength of an elephant. Even some adults can’t admit when they’re wrong. So, when my teen admits wrongdoing without prompting? I’m humbled because that type of growth inspires me too.
2. When She Chooses Responsibility Over Frivolity
Spend or save? Stay out past curfew or be home on time? Attend the sleepover with the popular kid or pass to prepare for a sporting event the next day? Teens will make lots of tough decisions during adolescence, but when they start choosing the responsible option more than the frivolous one, you know your child is growing up.
Teens will make lots of tough decisions during adolescence, but when they start choosing the responsible option more than the frivolous one, you know your child is growing up. Click To Tweet3. When He Chooses to Be Kind Over Being Right
My kids are two and a half years apart. When they were younger, my older child would often point out his younger sister’s mistakes, hurting her feelings in the process. When he stopped feeling the need to always be right and started to think more about her feelings, I knew he was growing in the right direction.
4. When She Chooses Your Values Over Someone Else’s
In our family, we don’t swear. There are even some borderline crass words that we’ve cut out. My teen tells me he hears kids swear all the time in the halls at school but has chosen not to expand his vocabulary. By quashing the “borderline” words at home, he has learned our values in this department. He has a lifetime to continue making this choice and others that reflect our family’s values and I’m hoping it’ll get easier as his strength of character also continues to grow.
5. When He Decides What to Do After High School Graduation
By the time your teen gets to this point, he or she will have had months, if not years, to think about this important decision. When teens make this decision, it will reflect a cumulation of your parenting choices and the individual choices they’ve made as they’ve grown toward independence. Whatever they decide, their choice will be monumental. Find the good in it. Your child is growing up, Mom, and this is the leap you’ve led him or her toward all these years. Rejoice in this moment.
Susan Merrill, the creator of iMOM shared a story about a time she saw one of her kids grow up right before her eyes in this episode of the iMOM Podcast, “When You See Your Hard Work Pay Off.” Hopefully, it reminds you that the seeds you’re planting are going to blossom!
In what other ways have you seen your child grow right before your eyes?
