Most moms know their teenagers are carrying around questions they haven’t voiced out loud. But sitting down and actually having those conversations is a whole other thing. These days, that gap has a very easy detour: AI. Teens can pull out their phone, open a chatbot, and get an answer in seconds without anyone knowing they even asked. And according to recent research, many of them already are.
A Pew Research Center survey on teens and AI chatbot use found that a majority of teens are already using AI chatbots for information and advice, while some are turning to them for emotional support and serious conversations. Another Common Sense Media study on teens and AI companions found that one-third of teens had discussed important issues with AI rather than with real people. AI feels private and nonjudgmental, so it makes sense teens would turn to it for answers.
What AI can’t offer is wisdom, discernment, or a mom who knows and loves her kid. Here are some of the questions teens are afraid to ask their moms, and what you can do to keep the conversation open at home.
Mental Health/Depression
- Am I depressed?
- Is it normal to feel like nothing makes me happy anymore?
- Why do I feel sad even when nothing bad happened today?
- Why do I care so much what people think about me online?
- Why do I feel anxious all the time?
Sex and Romantic Questions
- Is it normal to think about sex this much?
- How do you know if you’re ready to have sex?
- What actually happens the first time?
- Is watching pornography going to mess me up?
- How do I know if someone really likes me?
When Something Feels Wrong
- What do I do if I think one of my friends has a vaping problem?
- What if something happened to me, and I don’t know if it was OK?
- How do I ask for help without making everything worse?
- How do I help my friend leave a toxic relationship?
Emotional Support
- Why do I feel like I have to act tough all the time?
- Why am I so mean to my mom sometimes?
- Is it normal to cry without even knowing why?
- What do I do if my friends hang out without me?
- Why do I feel so lonely all the time?
Identity Questions
- How do I know who I really am?
- Is it OK if I’m still figuring myself out?
- Why do I act like a different person around different people?
- Is it normal to hate the way I look sometimes?
Self-Harm and Suicide
- Is it normal to think about dying when life feels really hard?
- How do I tell my mom I’ve been hurting myself?
- What do I do if my friend says they want to die?
Academic Pressure
- Is it cheating if I use AI to help me write a paper?
- Why do I feel like I’m never good enough, no matter how hard I try?
- Why does it feel like my worth depends on my grades?
- Why do I feel like I’m failing at everything?
Faith & God
- How do I know if God is actually real?
- Why would God let bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it?
- What if I don’t believe what my parents believe anymore?
- Is it a sin if I have doubts about my faith?
- Does having anxiety mean my faith is weak?
How to Become the Safe Place They Come To
Teens don’t need us to have all of the answers to the questions they’re afraid to ask. (Whew!) They just need to know we are safe enough to ask. That’s one of the secrets for getting your teen to talk (and keep talking) to you. So stay calm when uncomfortable topics come up, listen without reacting, and affirm your teen for being open and honest.
But, Mom, you don’t need to wait for your teen to bring these questions up first. Some of the best conversations happen casually in the car, late at night, while running errands, or after watching something together. Pick one of the questions above and simply ask, “Do kids your age ever talk about stuff like this?” Framing a question as “kids your age” takes the spotlight off your teen and makes it easier to answer questions your teen might be afraid to ask.
If you want help getting conversations started, iMOM’s Conversation Starters for Tweens & Teens can help create natural opportunities to connect before AI, social media, or friends become the only places they turn.
