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Developing Emotional Intelligence for Moms

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Lots of people know their IQ score, but have no idea about their EQ score. EQ stands for emotional intelligence. Did you know that your EQ is more important than your IQ? In fact, EQ is a better predictor of performance than IQ – your intelligence quotient. I know that holds true in how I’ve done as a mom over the years. I’ve had some ideas that looked really good on paper, only to fail miserably when I actually tried them with my children. In those cases, I should’ve thought more about developing emotional intelligence in regard to mothering.

What about you? Are you all head and no heart, or are you able to tune in emotionally to your children so that you can read their emotions effectively and adjust your parenting accordingly? Here are the 5 areas of emotional intelligence as they apply to moms.

1. Self-awareness.

Moms need self-awareness in a big way. We need to able to recognize what we’re feeling in the moment so that we can assess our emotions and manage them appropriately. The more we understand our moods, emotions, and drives, and the effect they have on those around us, the higher our EQ. 

So a mom with high self-awareness is able to introspectively examine herself to get a handle on what she’s feeling and why. That way, she won’t lash out at her children when they’re not even the cause of any emotional discomfort she’s feeling.

2. Self-regulation.

You can recognize a mom who possesses self-regulation by the way she deals with her children. Does she fly off the handle at the slightest irritation, or can she hold it together even when the kids have made a disaster of the family room, and she’s operating on four hours of sleep because the baby was up all night?

Self-regulation is evident when a mom can redirect impulses or moods that have the potential to be destructive. In the “mom life” that means having the ability to think before you scream, scold or criticize.

3. Motivation.

There are many days in the life of a mom where the only reward for her efforts is an internal sense that she is doing all she can to be a good mother. Her motivation is not based on receiving accolades for money. It’s her commitment to her family that keeps her optimistic in spite of setbacks.

4. Empathy.

A mother who can read her children well is a high EQ mother, indeed! When a mom is good at interpreting the emotional makeup of others, she can better respond to their needs. Empathy leads to helping our children reach their potential.

5. Social skills.

A mother’s social skills come in handy when dealing with teachers, coaches, and even her mother-in-law! A high EQ in this area will find a mom who can develop a rapport with diverse personalities and various settings.

These social skills help mothers diffuse conflict and build teamwork.

Tell us! Do you think you have a higher EQ or IQ?


How would you rate your self-control on a scale of 1 – 10?

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