The woman who watched my kids when they were little was a saint. Yes, she was a praying woman, but that’s not what I mean. She earned her halo by putting up with me.
When she started, I handed her a legal pad with times down the left side of the page. Next to each time was a task or activity. Much of the list was in 15- or 30-minute increments. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she nodded, said, “Got it!” and then tossed the pad aside as soon as she heard the garage door close and the rumble of my car engine fade into the distance. It was a lot, so I wish I’d heard back then the amazing advice I want to give you right now.
Our toddlers don’t need a schedule.
But wait. Don’t kids thrive on a schedule? Mmm, not exactly. That’s just something we overfunctioners like to tell ourselves so we have an excuse to create a color-coded timeline to post on the wall. I do love colored boxes and charts. They bring me so much joy!
Moms like me make the mistake of hearing valuable things like “having a set bedtime and nighttime routine is beneficial for children’s growth” and concluding that scheduling the rest of the day must lead to even more growth. But close out your Excel spreadsheet and put your legal pad away. A schedule isn’t what’s going to help toddlers thrive.
They need a routine.
Routines for toddlers provide relationship and repetition, two essential ingredients in early childhood. When children’s daily activities are predictable and familiar, they feel safe, secure, and able to engage.
So, am I just splitting hairs? Are routines and schedules the same thing, especially in the context of parenting a toddler?
A schedule is a series of actions to be performed at a specific time while a routine is a series of actions that happen in a certain order. When you compare the two, you’ll see how embracing a routine can lead to growth for your child and peace for you.
Routines for toddlers leave room for flexibility.
The playdate at the park is wrapping up, and your friend suggests grabbing lunch. If you’re tied to your schedule, you might say, “We’d love to, but we can’t because we like to lay down for a nap within 20 minutes of finishing lunch.” A routine would enable you to say, “Sure! We just have to get home in time for an afternoon nap.”
Routines for toddlers help you relax.
Every Thursday, you go to story time at the library at 2 p.m. But when it turns 1:45 and you realize you have to stop for gas or you won’t make it to the library, your stress level starts to skyrocket, and then, inevitably, you can only find one of your child’s shoes. Instead of always having to show up at the library for a scheduled story time, having a routine of “Thursday visit to the library after nap” sets you up for a more relaxed pace.
Routines for toddlers help them learn responsibility.
If your routine is that you head to the park every morning after breakfast, but before you leave the house you have to put the dishes in the dishwasher, your toddler will learn that certain things need to be done before you can go have fun. Having a schedule often results in rushing and then Mom doing the picking up.
Routines for toddlers grow with them.
Every mom knows as soon as you fall into a schedule, it changes. Your child hits a growth spurt and naps differently or eats more frequently, or it’s time to enroll him in preschool. Having a routine makes for gentler adjustments as your child grows.
Routines help moms be more present.
I loved laying a blanket in the front yard with my boys and watching them yank grass out of the ground or find a buried rock. Too many times, I noticed the clock was ticking, telling me I’d been outside too long and we were running behind on something else. Embracing a routine instead of a schedule gives you the freedom to stay in the moment instead of thinking of where you need to be next.
Embracing a routine instead of a schedule gives you the freedom to stay in the moment instead of thinking of where you need to be next. Click To TweetWhat’s a routine you do in your home that you think is benefitting your child?
