Do you have a friend who has “broken in” parenting for you? I do. My friend Jamie was the first to get married, the first to have kids, the first to deal with all the things kids throw at you as they grow up, and in a few months, she’s going to become the first of our friends to watch her child graduate. Maybe you’re that “first” person in your friend group. You should know your friends are watching and feeling grateful it’s you and not them.
I’ve been able to observe my friend and add items to my mental list of things I need to say, do, learn, or brace myself for. So much of parenting teens is helping them set and achieve goals, but there are also goals for moms of teens that shouldn’t be overlooked. Whether you’re just starting the teen years or you’ve placed an order for a cap and gown, here are 5 goals for moms whose kids are in their teen years.
1. Invest in your friendships.
When our kids are little and “say the darndest things,” it’s easy to find your mom tribe. But when the cuteness wears off, the problems become more real and difficult to say out loud to other people. At this time when authentic friendship is hard to come by, it’s more important than ever to put time and effort into growing your relationships with other moms.
2. Invest in their friendships.
Add to the list of goals for moms of tweens and teens to know the names and faces of your kids’ friends. Take it a step further and aim to have those kids over to your house once a month. Host a Friday night pizza party or Sunday afternoon video game tournament. Knowing who your kids are hanging out with will help you know your children better and stay engaged in their lives.
3. Make a must-do list.
Whether you have three months or five years left with your child under your roof, think about what you want to do with that time and write it down. Will your list be practical? Teach her how to change a tire. Talk to him about how credit cards work. Will it be more dreamy and fun? Show her my favorite movie from when I was in high school. Take a weekend road trip just the two of us. Check out our ideas for a Mother-Daughter Bucket List and a Mother-Son Bucket List.
4. Make yourself available.
I often play a scene in my head: One of my sons is sitting in his room, stressing over something, and he gets the courage to come talk to me. He walks out to the living room and says, “Hey, Mom…” and I’m staring at my phone, working on my laptop, or frustrated over piles of laundry. He sees me and says, “Nevermind,” and walks away. I want to do everything in my power to ensure that scene never plays out in real life. If we want our kids to share their lives with us, we have to be available to them and that takes serious effort, but it’s a goal worth setting.
If we want our kids to share their lives with us, we have to be available to them and that takes serious effort. Click To Tweet5. Come up with your big picture question.
This is one of the goals for moms that it’s never too early to accomplish, but you definitely want to figure it out by the time your kids hit the teen years. What’s a big picture question? It’s what you ask yourself when you’re not sure what to do or if you’re making the right parenting decision. Yours might be “Am I helping her grow into a person of character?” or “Does my child know I love and value him?” It’s a lighthouse guiding you through these stormy years.
What about some long term goals? Check out 10 Goals You Should Accomplish in 10 Years.
What other goals for moms of tweens and teens would you add to the list?
