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5 Habits of Successful Kids

I had a high school junior named Rob in one of the English classes I taught. He wasn’t the best student in the class—he got mostly B’s—and he wasn’t the most popular either. You’d think by that description he was just your average teenage boy. But you’d be wrong. Of the hundreds of students I taught, Rob stands out in my memory. He wasn’t flamboyant, attention-seeking, or anything like that. Rather, he was even-keeled and comfortable in his skin. Something about him told me that even though he knew he wasn’t the best student in the room, he was OK with working hard and doing his best.

I don’t know what happened to Rob after graduation. But I’m confident he went on to succeed at whatever he chose to do. Rob had 5 good habits that I’m working to teach my kids. I know that if they learn them, they don’t have to be the best at everything they do, but they’ll still be successful in life. Here are 5 habits of successful kids.

1. They have humility.

Most high school kids have a lot of bravado. Some have a hard time admitting they’re wrong. And that really holds them back. They’re the kids who don’t stay for extra help and never admit when they “don’t get it.” Unfortunately, those were my most challenging students because they’d rather argue a point to save face than admit to a mistake.

Having humility often comes with maturity, but it helps to have a mom teaching it through the years. It’s the humble spirit who asks someone for help. A kid who has humility accepts failure and learns from it. It’s a habit of successful kids.

2. They know how to cope.

“Mom, I just need some time alone in my room to listen to music,” my daughter said. After losing her cool, she knew what she needed to calm down. But not every kid does. My firstborn had some trouble with coping last year during a very difficult class. But he’s finally learned some tricks that work for him. He suggests that other kids try thinking about the good things they have in life to help them cope. They could also ask themselves what they’re looking forward to. He said he often uses these strategies when he gets frustrated.

What kid hasn’t been frustrated? Low grade or lost game, frustration happens. But having the ability to cope when things don’t go their way is another habit of successful kids.

3. They know how to accept a compliment.

“Lara, good work on your test!” I told a student in my morning class. She blushed and said, “I got lucky.” I paid the same compliment to another student that afternoon. “Thanks!” Emily said. “I stayed up late to study!” Which response conveyed more confidence?

When a kid accepts a compliment, she acknowledges that she deserves it. Help your kids own their successes no matter how big or small. As licensed clinical social worker and author Amy Morin says, doing so “makes you stronger.” It’ll also “help motivate you to keep going.” It’s a skill successful kids have learned to do.

4. They support others’ successes.

“Hey, good job, man,” Rob said, slapping Paul’s shoulder on the way out of class. I’d just gone over essay structure with my students and used Paul’s work as an example. I loved how Rob supported Paul! He made a point to say something kind. And I knew Rob had struggled on that essay, which made his support of Paul that much sweeter.

Celebrating others’ successes takes a certain amount of courage and a big dose of selflessness. It brings people closer and strengthens relationships. And when you celebrate others, you not only make them feel good, but you get a rush of good feelings too. It’s something successful kids do on winning sports teams and adults see as a perk in their work environment. Help your kids get in the habit of celebrating others now.

5. They express gratitude to those who help them.

I don’t know about you, but my kids haven’t always been grateful for my help. But as they’ve gotten older, they’ve gotten better at it. The other day, I worked with my daughter on her batting stance. She didn’t thank me then as I pitched ball after ball to her. No, she thanked me the next night after her softball game when she got two hits. I’ll take that.

Whether it’s the piano teacher, the classroom teacher, another student, or a parent, a child who learns to appreciate the wisdom of those who are more experienced will be a child who succeeds.

A child who learns to appreciate the wisdom of those who are more experienced will be a child who succeeds. Click To Tweet

This article is based on Amy Morin’s book 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do.

Have you noticed other habits of successful kids?

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