The Herdmans were the worst kids in the school. A vulgar family of six irreverent siblings who stole, smoked, cursed, destroyed property, and bullied. Their dad abandoned them, forcing their mom to work double shifts, leaving the kids with little to no adult supervision. When they showed up at church, everyone was surprised, and no one was happy about it. The congregation was even more nervous when the Herdmans volunteered to star in the Christmas pageant. It was an annual tradition, and the consensus was that the Herdman kids would ruin it, and maybe even burn down the church in the process.
When you see the new movie The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, which was originally a book, you’ll find out what happened. One of the things I love most about it is the attitude of the main character, a mom named Grace. She’s in charge of directing the pageant, and despite pressure from the church to expel the Herdmans, she uses a different tactic. Ultimately, it brought about the change the church really needed to see. Do you sometimes wish you could change people? Then do these 5 things.
1. Love when they’re unlovable.
It’s easy to love people who love you back. Dare to be different. Not many people treat those who are disagreeable, offensive, and perhaps hostile with dignity, respect, and care. Unlovable people are treated with plenty of disdain. Give them something they aren’t used to getting—love. Even if they don’t return it, love is always worth giving.
2. Give grace when they don’t deserve it.
No one is perfect. There are obviously times when someone in your life will fall short and potentially cause pain. Giving grace during those moments tends to have a greater impact than passing judgment or administering retribution. One thing is certain: Responding to disgrace with more disgrace will just continue the cycle. None of us is perfect, you included. We all need grace. It takes a person with courage and a strong will to give grace when it’s undeserved.
3. Believe in them despite their shortcomings.
Do you see the best in people? Are you hopeful for their futures? For some, you may be the only person who chooses to believe in their potential and see a great outcome. They may not even see it themselves. There’s power in seeing positive things about a person and communicating them. They may start to see what you see.
4. Bless them even when they do wrong by you.
We bless people by letting them borrow something without strings attached, taking them a meal when they’re sick, or giving their kids a ride when their schedule is crazy. Doing these for someone may be the hardest of all, especially if they’ve hurt you and you’re the type of person who craves justice. But blessing someone who has hurt you shows the stark difference between right and wrong behavior. And sometimes it’s what brings the most conviction.
5. Pray for them.
A friend of mine didn’t get along with a guy for years. My friend was tired of the way they related to one another. So he decided to pray for the guy every day for a year. It completely changed their relationship. They became supportive and encouraging to each other. One of the best ways to see change is to ask God to bless the person.
And if you do all these things, the person in your life who’ll actually change is you. You’ll become more loving, patient, humble, giving, prayerful, forgiving, hopeful, gentle, kind, and graceful. In other words, you’ll change into a better version of yourself, and more than likely, the best version ever.
Why do you think we sometimes try so hard to change people?Â
