“I need to tap out,” I declared to my husband as soon as he got home. Our daughters had gotten off the school bus with bellies and brains full of holiday party sweets. This meant I’d spent the last two hours on an emotional thrill ride with a 6- and 8-year-old while also attempting to wrap up work and respond to the rapid-fire texts from my mother-in-law about our Christmas plans. My patience wasn’t just wearing thin; it threatened to put on an invisibility cloak.
Yep. Welcome to the holidays, when moms everywhere forget all their previous vows to simplify this year and instead charge full steam into the season. With our schedules and expectations, no wonder so many of us feel on edge, but there’s a better way. Mom, stop asking how to be a more patient mom and instead put into practice these 5 ways to be one.
1. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your family.
Sometimes, we test our own patience by packing our calendars fuller than Santa’s bag. We drive around to look at Christmas lights, get tickets to The Nutcracker, host an ornament exchange with the neighbors, attend a candlelight church service, and drink hot cocoa by the tree while watching Elf.
Forget about what social media implies. Christmas bucket lists aren’t meant to be completed in one
week. Instead, prioritize what’s truly important for your family. Ask each family member what one thing is a must-do or must-see for them. For younger children, keep it simple by asking, “Would you rather do THIS or THAT?” You might be surprised what really matters to them. Plus, it models for your child that saying no to a good thing (Sorry, Elf) allows space to say yes to the best thing (making cookies together).
2. Make a plan, but be flexible about it.
Sometimes how to be a more patient mom around the holidays takes some pre-planning. Create your family’s holiday calendar. Make your shopping lists for gifts, school parties, and those must-dos you added to the calendar. Talk with your husband and divide tasks. If you have older kids, delegate tasks to them, too. By involving the entire family in planning (and pulling off) a holiday to remember, you allow them to experience how good it feels to be on the giving end of Christmas, too.
But also be prepared for plans to change. Those classic bumper stickers should say “Sick kids happen,” because they do. And, as good as we are as moms, I’ve yet to meet one who can accurately pre-schedule a sick day for her child. Oh, and those “I forgot to tell you about” events will crop up, too.
3. Keep your kids on a consistent routine.
Around the holidays, there’s a lot to do, places to go, people to see, and an abundance of sensory overload to go around. While age doesn’t shield kids from the stress of it all, kids in a predictable routine tend to respond better to it. For example, a set nightly bedtime ensures your child receives adequate sleep to help him make better choices the next day. How to be a more patient mom around the holidays often begins by setting yourself up for success. And that’s precisely what a consistent routine does!
4. Know your pressure points and prepare for them.
Seeing your step-mom? Going to your child’s school event? Heading to Target on a Saturday afternoon along with everyone else in town? We’ve all got situations or individuals who put us on edge. In those stressful situations, it’s natural to lean towards impatience and irritability. However, identifying potential stressors in advance is like waving an internal yellow flag in your brain. This reminds you to proceed with caution and be prepared to respond more calmly and thoughtfully.
5. Create mental space for simple practices to stay calm.
According to a recent national poll of parents, 75 percent of moms set a New Year’s Resolution to be more patient. Engaging in simple practices to stay calm can significantly support your desire to be more patient during the holidays. For example, practicing positive affirmations or prayer in the morning can center your thoughts and reduce anxiety. Taking slow, deliberate breaths can also quickly alleviate stress. Even heading to the park with the kids so YOU can swing when the weather feels nice can improve your mood and reduce tension.
By making these simple practices part of your day, you can better manage the increased demands of the holiday season, fostering a more patient and joyful environment for your family—and for yourself!
What advice would you give on how to be a more patient mom?
