My husband serves as a pilot in the United States Army. After completing our eleventh military-related move in eleven years, you could say the infatuation period was O.V.E.R. I was exhausted from packing up my family’s life and moving across the country just to start the process over every year. Resentment started to bubble to the surface. OK, maybe it was more like an erupting volcano.
My discontentment in my marriage was unsettling, but I decided I couldn’t settle for less than joy. My husband’s career is mission-minded, but I knew it was time for a mission of my own—restoring my infatuation with the man I married. Although I didn’t know how to bring back romance in a relationship, I learned through practice. Here are 5 ways to get those butterflies back.
1. Commit to a marriage challenge.
A five-day wife challenge or a 30-day marriage challenge is the perfect way to get you started in restoring your romance. The creative work is done for you; all you have to do is follow-through. Your husband will be thrilled at all the extra doting and more likely than not, he’ll be inspired to return the favor.
2. Reset your expectations.
Instead of longing for the ways your husband could be loving you, completely switch those thoughts to ways you can love him. Tell yourself this wild bit of news: The problem is not him. It’s me. Determine to focus on your role in the marriage and watch the chain reaction as he begins to love you well in return.
3. Surprise him.
Go small or go big to make him feel special. This could be as simple as a surprise date you arrange or as grand as a surprise vacation. Surprises bring adventure to your relationship, and adventure creates bonding attachments in your brain. You probably staged unique experiences like this during your infatuation stage and it’s time to bring them back!
4. Kiss him like you did while you were dating.
Hello, oxytocin! This hormone floods your body during the act of kissing and creates a sense of bonding. Guess what happened frequently during your infatuation period with your spouse? You guessed it, lots of kissing. Looking for another challenge? Amp up your oxytocin output again by doing this free printable 14-Day Kiss Your Husband Challenge.
5. Continue serving him.
Once you’ve started to experience the romantic benefits of putting your husband first, don’t stop! Intentionally loving and serving your husband is a daily choice. Make this a way of life. You’ll never wonder how to bring back romance in a relationship because yours will never be lacking again.
When I made the diligent choice to love my husband with what the Army calls “actionable intelligence,” my infatuation with him returned. All this time I was waiting on him to make it happen when in reality, it all started with me. Once I began loving my husband with reckless abandon, he quickly reciprocated and our romance returned.
What do you think would happen if you started practicing a couple of these ideas? Which one can you try first?
