“It’s mid-term and he has straight Cs, except for an A in P.E.” I could hear the frustration in the voice of my friend, an overachiever who imagined her kids would be just like her. (Didn’t we all?) “But watch. He’ll get an A on the exam and pull his grade up to a B. The kid is super smart and is an amazing test taker, so he thinks he can coast the rest of the semester.”
When my friend punishes her son for not turning in assignments, he fires arguments her way: I’m making a good grade. Why should it matter how I do it? Isn’t it impressive that I can pull off an A on the exam after not paying attention all semester? That’s the point when her head nearly explodes. So how do you teach your child that while the final grade is important, the journey to it is where the true learning happens? Try these 7 strategies for how to motivate a lazy child in school.
1. Repeat this: Process over product.
Put it on the fridge in big bold letters if you need to. If I think back on all the classes in which I got an A, I don’t remember much of what I learned, but I do know I became a good notetaker in 10th-grade biology, and debate class taught me how to think critically. We have to remind our kids that the subject matter is a small fraction of what they learn in school. The process of learning is what they’ll carry into life.
We have to remind our kids that the subject matter is a small fraction of what they learn in school. The process of learning is what they’ll carry into life. Click To Tweet2. Hold his hand (for a minute).
If you want to motivate a lazy child in school, you might need to set him up for success and stay on him for a bit. Create a study space, make sure he has a planner, help him budget his time, and check the class website for assignments weekly or even daily.
3. Find other reasons to praise.
Teach your kids that there’s more to success than just the final grade by measuring and celebrating other factors. Instead of paying for every A on a report card, give a reward for completed assignments, neater work, or an email from the teacher about showing good character. Our You Can Do It Chart is a fun way to keep track of a new habit.
4. Ask, “Are you doing your best? Are you proud of your work?”
Ask these questions so many times that as soon as the phrase “are you” leaves your lips, your child says, “I know and I’m doing my best!” Even if you get an eye roll, these questions plant a seed for the standard your child should set for schoolwork.
5. Prioritize homework over extracurricular activities.
We can’t expect our kids to care about school if we allow them to have schedules where homework can only fit in at 11 at night. Kids who don’t want to do homework will find a way to do it if they know they won’t get to go to practice tomorrow with incomplete work from today.
6. Ask yourself if there could be more to the issue.
Some kids who avoid doing work aren’t lazy. They just have a learning difference that needs to be managed. They anticipate failure, so they don’t try or they don’t have the tools to overcome their struggle, so they quit.
7. Drop the L word.
I know—I’ve already used the word several times, but if you want to motivate a lazy child in school, stop calling him or her lazy. The brain is powerful and what it hears is what it believes. Point out qualities you see that will help your child put in the work that needs to be done, like persistence or determination.
Do you have a child who doesn’t put in the work but still gets the grade? What do you do to motivate him or her?
