“Don’t you want to go to the aquarium?” I asked my young son as I pulled a sweater over his head. His nose popped out of the hole, followed by a sad pout. “What? You don’t want to see the penguins?” In response, my son pointed at the window. Rain streamed down the glass. “But it’s a perfect day for the aquarium,” I said, thinking about the lunches I’d already made and packed in my diaper bag. I sat back on my knees, pulling my little guy onto my lap. “What do you want to do today?” Almost immediately, a smile appeared: “Jump in the puddles!”
What’s a perfect way to spend a day with your toddler? For me, I always wanted a stimulating activity—something educational with some socialization. But for the little ones in our lives, a good day is a whole lot simpler than that. How to parent a toddler well only requires a few things from you. If your toddler had his wish for a perfect day, he’d want a few of these 7 things.
1. Your Patience
“Come on! Are you ready?” I hurried my toddler into the stroller. He might be happy in 20 minutes to see his buddy at the pool, but getting there puts him on the verge of a meltdown. More than from splash time at the town pool, your toddler’s daily routine could benefit from your patience. His fingers aren’t as dexterous as yours, and he can’t tell time. But he can learn patience from you right now. So, take a breath, go slower, and watch your tone. Your kiddo will be grateful.
2. Your Sense of Humor
Having a sense of humor makes everything less stressful. Did you get some sunscreen on his ear when he turned his face? Instead of getting frustrated, try to make light of it. “What? Your ear’s telling me it wants sunscreen too? Funny ear!” If he’s pouting about wearing a certain shirt, you can tell him that “it won’t fit me” as you try to put it on. There are so many opportunities to find humor in a toddler’s daily routine if you’re open to it. Laughing’s not only good for your child but for you too.
3. Your Touch and Affection
My daughter might not remember the time I took her to the circus, but she will remember the cuddles and coziness of my lap as we watched the clown performance. All the little moments when you touch and cuddle her have a big impact on a child’s wellbeing. It doesn’t matter where you go, but it does matter how you show affection. And that can take place anywhere. 
4. Your Discipline
I used to think I could simply distract my child when he misbehaved by giving him attention or taking him somewhere fun. But kids misbehave at museums and zoos as well as at home. And kids ultimately want and need boundaries. They want to know where to draw the line because they feel safer when they understand the rules. It’s no fun to plop your child on the stair for a timeout, and it can feel embarrassing to crouch down at the zoo and explain why hitting is wrong, but this is how to parent a toddler well.
5. Security
When you hear your child waking from her nap and go to her, you’re giving her a sense of security—she learns you’ll be there when she needs you. The same thing happens when you pick her up from daycare or preschool. Showing up at the right time gives your child security. As iMOM founder Susan Merrill wrote, knowing Mom will be there when she’s needed gives a child a sense of calm. Giving your child security is another way to parent a toddler well.
6. Structure With Room for Flexibility
Do you have a daily routine with your child? Maybe she knows that playtime follows breakfast, and a nap follows lunch. Having structure during the day with time to sleep and quiet time to play calms a child because she knows what to expect. But don’t be afraid to flex if your friend pops over and wants to see your child. Pushing off the nap until a little later in the afternoon is fine. Spending time with another loving adult is worth it.
7. Your Unconditional Love
When I had two toddlers in the house, my body hurt from lifting the kiddos in and out of the stroller and from carrying them around. And sometimes I got short with them. But if I did, I apologized (even to one- and three-year-olds) and smothered them with kisses.
How to parent a toddler well includes giving her your unconditional love even when spaghetti sauce hits the white blinds and dirty diapers get peeled off in the crib. When our children know there’s nothing they can do to lose our love, they gain a deep-seated happiness they’ll carry with them for the rest of their lives.
When our children know there’s nothing they can do to lose our love, they gain a deep-seated happiness they’ll carry with them for the rest of their lives. Click To TweetWhat else would a toddler wish for in his or her perfect day?
