You’re at the store and across the aisle you’re on, you see a child throw a toy into the cart. His mom tells him that she won’t be purchasing it and that he needs to put it back. The child resists and demands that his mom buy it for him. Maybe you’ve been in this situation or one similar. It’s tempting to give in to your child’s demands when your child is pitching a fit. But the more often you give in, the more often this sort of behavior happens.
Children can be quite demanding as they learn that they can influence your behavior and get what they want. Variations of this kind of scenario can play out in all stages of a child’s development. Time and time again, parents give in, whether to save face or just to make their children happy. Have you Googled, “how to unspoil your child fast” and come up blank? What steps can we take if we have already reared our children into spoil-hood? Here are a few tips on how to unspoil your spoiled kids.
Maybe you’re wondering how to unspoil your child fast. But is there really a way to speed up the process? I had a friend in my earlier years of parenting who struggled to discipline her strong-willed child. She would take the advice from books, friends, and pastors to put new strategies into action. However, she never saw any fruit from all her toil. The problem? She wouldn’t stick to any strategy for longer than a couple of weeks. You didn’t spoil your kids overnight and you won’t unspoil them overnight, either.
Stop treating your children for every good thing they do.
Treats for good behavior will get you just good behavior. When your children are adults, no one is going to give them that many rewards for doing what they’re supposed to do. Don’t let a treat be the only reason your child behaves. Focus on building good character in them so they grow into well rounded, hardworking adults.
Don’t be afraid of your children’s reactions.
I once would feel embarrassed when my son acted out in public. Then a good friend gave me the best advice: I shouldn’t be afraid of his reactions when I tell him no. You don’t have to be afraid of your child’s reactions, either. Besides, most parents have been in the same situation and feel empathetic and understanding when they witness your child reacting poorly. After receiving this helpful tip, I began to push aside the temptation to worry about what others thought and instead chose to focus on helping my child work through his strong emotions.
Teach your kids that their happiness isn’t tied to your love.
If your children are spoiled, they might have the mindset that getting what they want is tied to your love for them. To unspoil your spoiled kids, you must make it a point to help them work through feelings of rejection when you don’t give them what they think will make them happy. Show your children that your love is communicated in many other ways, like keeping them safe and helping them to grow in healthy ways.
Stop arguing with your kids.
Ending arguments with our kids can be tricky. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m in an argument with my kids until we’re in the middle of it. If there is something your child wants and thinks is important, teach him or her how to discuss it with you in a healthier way. Otherwise, say what you mean and mean what you say so your child learns you can be firm when you say yes or no.
A few things to keep in mind: You have not done any damage to your children that can’t be undone. It’s not too late to put some new skills into practice. There is no magical formula on how to unspoil your child fast. Remain consistent and watch what happens over time.
How do you fight against entitlement in your kids?