When I moved in with my parents after my divorce, I knew my boys were going to eat like kings. My mom has a passion for cooking, so making a healthy dinner for her grandsons was like serving love on a plate. My younger son tried salmon, quinoa, and lamb while he was still in diapers and it was all thanks to her.
When we moved into our new house, I knew the importance of family dinner, so that time was something I wanted to keep as a priority. It was hard at first because I didn’t inherit my mom’s skills in the kitchen. We definitely used the microwave more than the grill, but preserving that time around the table was one of the best decisions I made. If you think you’re too busy or pulled in too many directions to eat dinner with your kids, here are 5 ways to make it happen.
1. Don’t lose sight of the big picture.
When you’re in the thick of single parenthood, it might feel easier to grab food and go your separate ways. So stay focused on the importance of family dinner and these facts: Kids who grow up having family dinners have lower rates of obesity. And regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and eating disorders, and with higher self-esteem.
If that’s not enough, according to Anne Fishel, the executive director of the Family Dinner Project, research shows teenagers rank family dinner pretty high on a list of things they like to do, and 80% of teenagers say family dinner is the time of day they’re most likely to talk to their parents. In other words, family dinners are hard, but they’re well worth it.
2. Plan your meals.
Hopefully, you’re convinced, so now let’s talk practical ideas. Meal planning is more work in advance, but it’s better for your budget and your brain come 5 p.m. After a long day at work and a pile of homework and housework, you’ll be grateful you can look at your meal chart and say, “Tonight is spaghetti and meatballs with a side salad. Who wants to make the salad?”
3. Use leftovers to your advantage.
Leftovers don’t have to happen by accident. On Taco Tuesday, if I buy two pounds of ground beef, I know we’ll have leftovers that can become a taco salad for lunch on Wednesday. When dinner doubles as lunch prep, you’re more likely to stick to the routine. Buy thermoses for your kids and put last night’s spaghetti in them. They’ll be grateful not to eat school lunch and you’ll be glad to have lunch packing checked off your list.
4. Embrace repetition.
I remember my pediatrician putting my mind at ease when I said I was concerned that my toddler didn’t have enough variety in his diet. She said, “Think about what you eat. You repeat a lot of the same meals, too.” So hear these words: You are not a bad mom because you feed your kids the same foods most nights. Repetition makes meal planning, shopping, and cooking easier. If your family has five to 10 meals everyone likes, put them on a rotation and embrace the routine.
You are not a bad mom because you feed your kids the same foods most nights. Click To Tweet5. Use shortcuts and cook smarter, not harder.
There’s no shame in minute rice and bagged salad! Yes, those things might be more expensive than cooking from scratch, but if using shortcuts here and there makes family dinners more doable, they’re worth the cost. My other favorite shortcut is batch cooking. You start with the same basic ingredients then separate them into two pans. From there you add different flavors to create two different meals. One goes in the fridge or freezer and the other goes on the dinner table. Here’s one of my favorites.
6. Outsource!
You might be a single mom, but you don’t have to do it all on your own. If you have family in town, designate a night to eat together. Just offer to provide part of the meal or chip in on the cost. If you have a friend from church or down the block who wants family around the table, make it a standing date—every other Thursday, we go to Ms. Wilson’s house.
And don’t forget that you don’t have to prepare and clean up a meal all by yourself. Little kids can set the table. Big kids can help cook. Everybody can help clean up. You’re doing your children a favor by giving them the chance to help make dinner happen.
What else can you do to preserve family dinner?
