So when does giving advice to your husband turn into nagging? Let me give a hall of shame example from my own life.
I was just trying to help my husband by giving him my opinion about a staff change at the office. So I shared my two cents and he listened. Then, I shared it again…and again. And then the next day I really got wound up and strongly advocated for my opinion. Somewhere in there I crossed the line between giving advice and nagging.
Here’s what I could’ve done instead: let my husband know that this topic really mattered to me, made sure he really understood my position, and then asked him to let me know when he made a decision. From there, the ball was in his court. Sure it was okay for me to check on where he was in his decision making, but I didn’t need to keep pressing home my preference.
Whether our advice is about how to take out the garbage or something related to work, husbands usually tolerate their wife’s advice, just not their nagging.
Now that we have nagging covered, let’s look at its cousin, nitpicking? Here’s how to tell if it is Nagging or Giving Advice.
1. It’s a numbers game.
How often do you correct your husband or point out his minor flaws, mistakes, or annoying habits? More than once a day? Uh-oh, you might be a nitpicker. Try to go an entire day without correcting or criticizing. You can do it!
2. You’ve been called on it.
Has your husband told you that you get on him too much for the little things? Does he get defensive when you point out his shortcomings? Maybe it’s because you’re correcting him too much. Maybe it’s because you are a nitpicker.
So, if your husband does say that you nag or nitpick too much, take it to heart without getting upset. Really look at yourself and your actions. If he’s right, apologize and tell him you’ll try to nitpick less. And, avoid these 5 Ways Not to Communicate with Your Husband.
3. You’re being too picky.
Okay, now it’s time to do some self-examination. Today, keep track of how often you nitpick, not just with your husband, but throughout the day. Do you get annoyed at the driver next to you, the mom you run into at the grocery store, or the way this, that, or the other is just not right? Might be time for an attitude adjustment.
When do you nitpick your husband?
