Do you insist on the lights turned off and covers pulled up when you’re having sex, in an attempt to hide your body from your husband? Or maybe you regularly resist his moves, promising him your sexual interest will come back once you lose weight or get in better shape. You aren’t alone if you can relate to either of these scenarios. As women, our body image struggles sabotage us on many fronts, and sex is no exception.
What if we could stop this battle between sex and poor body image? Grasping a fresh perspective will not only boost your overall outlook but also transform your marriage. If poor body image has wreaked havoc in your relationship, here are three ways to reclaim some ground.
1. Embrace authentic sexual confidence.
We easily believe that sexual confidence is reserved for women with stunningly beautiful bodies, hair, and complexions. Of course, we also easily forget that our culture’s standard for “beautiful” is based more on digitally-enhanced images than on real, live human beings standing in the same lighting as us.
Where does authentic sexual confidence truly come from? It’s rooted in the innate beauty of a woman’s body and not in a small waistline and a perky chest. A wife who enjoys sex with her husband, initiates intimacy, and speaks confidently about herself is attractive, regardless of the size of her jeans or her body proportions. It’s no secret that men tend to be more visually aroused than women, but most husbands don’t want just any woman. He longs for you, the woman he fell in love with. So fake it until you make it. Even if you don’t think you’re sexy, pretend like you are and your husband will respond.
2. Let him see your body.
Oh, the lengths many women go to so their husbands won’t see their bodies. But he wants to see it! This doesn’t mean you have to wear skimpy lingerie or have the overhead light on full power. Bring some light into the room with a closet light, nightstand lamp, or candles. Find a comfortable attractive nightgown and encourage him to take it off of you. Spend more time on foreplay instead of starting under the covers and rushing to be done with sex.
The way women see their bodies is usually very different from the way men do. You might see lumps. He sees curves. You might see 20 extra pounds. He sees the body he’s known for years and loves.
3. Count the costs.
Sure, you could keep letting poor body image tell you what you’re worthy of, but have you considered what it will cost? Not only do you rob your marriage of the gift of sexual oneness, but you also hurt intimacy in general. Over time, those costs add up. It’s a shame that so many marriages suffer because women tell themselves they aren’t attractive enough to be desired by their husbands. Don’t listen to that voice. You are beautiful and your husband wants you.
It's a tragedy that so many marriages suffer because women tell themselves they aren't attractive enough to be desired by their husbands. Don't listen to that voice. Click To TweetHas poor body image affected your sex life?
