One of our favorite outings as a family is hanging on the beach in the evening. We’ll arrive a few hours before sunset, eat dinner, and then dig in the sand, collect shells, and enjoy the breeze. We don’t even put sunscreen on. The only problem is that the setting sun is like an actual timer, counting down the remaining minutes of fun. On a beach evening this past August, my husband said, “I wish the sunset would slow down.”
I felt his words deeply. I want to stretch time during the sweet moments with my family—the special ones at the beach and the ho-hum ones in our family room. We can’t make the earth turn any slower, but making moments matter and last a little longer is possible. Try doing these 8 things to make time stretch just a little.
1. Reframe how you see messes.
Instead of looking at the mess and thinking, My home’s in disarray, and it needs to be put back right, see it as a sign that your kids are thriving on exploration and creativity. It might not fully suppress the urge to clean up, but it can help.
Keeping the pillow fort up for an extra day creates a tangible reminder of the fun you had playing castle and lets the memory solidify. And waiting to clean up the flour that got in your hair and on the floor (but somehow hardly in the bowl) gives you and your kiddo time to laugh at how you two are “the messiest bakers ever!”
2. Put away the phone, and pull out the moment.
During our beach visit, I spent about 20 minutes trying to capture the perfect “golden hour” photos of my sons and husband. When I finally put my phone down, my heart took in the moment differently than the camera lens could. So take a picture or five, and then put your phone away. It’s too tempting to become photo-obsessed or start scrolling.
If we’re playing photographer or mindlessly scrolling, we’re passive participants in our kids’ lives instead of active ones who are engaging and making moments matter. I don’t want to look back at my kids’ childhoods and realize I was just a passive participant. Do you?
3. Weave in traditions.
You may already know that traditions and rituals help form your family identity, but another benefit is that the consistency and intentionality of these traditions also build anticipation. That means the moment starts earlier and lasts longer!
Need an idea for a fun and easy tradition? Instead of letting your Saturday morning pass by with everyone on a screen or sleeping in, start a “Pancake Party at 9” breakfast tradition. Each week you rotate who flips the flapjacks and picks the toppings, and everyone bellies up to the kitchen counter at 9 a.m. sharp.
4. Tell a story.
Make everyday moments with younger kids mini-adventures by weaving a story through them. While playing in the park, your child can be a brave knight battling a fire-breathing dragon (the slide). Grocery shopping becomes a pirate treasure hunt, with your child searching for the gold (bananas). Not only will your stories make the activity more engaging, but all the “characters” will remember them long after the activity is over.
5. Switch up your routine.
We thrive on routine in my house, and we can do some with our eyes closed, but research on how the brain perceives the passage of time shows that when we’re on auto-pilot, time seems to go by faster in retrospect.
Small tweaks to our routine like driving a different route home from church on Sunday or swapping pizza for nachos as our Friday night movie cuisine cause the brain to engage more and feel like time is slowing down. What tweaks could you make? Try switching where you sit at the dinner table, or let the kids sleep on the floor in your bedroom one night.
3 Mini-Ideas for Making Moments Matter and Last Longer
- Pull your thoughts back to the present. Instead of thinking about what’s coming next, look at what’s right in front of you. Repeat a truth, like “I’m here now in this moment and nowhere else.”
- Use your senses to take in the experience more fully. Light a candle during dinner. Get under the covers during nighttime prayers. Play music during bath time and sing along.
- Speak your mind. Say “I am so glad we’re here together, guys!” or “Thank you, God, for this moment you’ve given me with my family.”
What do you do to take in a special moment and make time slow down a little?
