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5 Bits of Parenting Advice It’s OK to Ignore

I listened to some parental advice years ago about screentime limits and pledged to always stick to the rules I put in place. Well, last week I ignored them. My husband and son were playing video games in the family room. Watching from the kitchen, I saw my son snuggled up against my husband as they laughed and strategized. I witnessed a father and son bonding moment, so I threw the parental advice about video game limits out the window and let my son keep playing.

Solid advice should be followed most of the time, but there are exceptions to just about every rule. The key is knowing when to ignore the parental advice. Here are 5 bits of parenting advice you should ignore… occasionally.

Solid parenting advice should be followed most of the time, but there are exceptions to just about every rule. Click To Tweet

1. Get your children to bed early.

“Mom!” my daughter would say sadly as we were leaving a party or gathering to make it home for bedtime. “We’re always the first ones to leave!” Yes, I was/am a stickler for getting enough rest. A rested child (and a rested mom, for that matter) means a happy, functioning child.

But, I became too rigid in my bedtime rules. Of course, I want my children to get the required amount of sleep, but staying up late once in a while is just plain fun! So let your kids stay up late now and then. If they don’t have school the next day or an early morning commitment, the occasional late night to watch a movie, read, or hang out with family and friends can be a fun memory-maker. Wondering how much sleep your children need most nights? Here’s the scoop.

2. Don’t let your children sleep in your bed.

This one is easy to keep at my house. My husband has a sleep issue that causes nightmares, so we can’t put our children at risk. But, boy, there are times I wanted my little children snuggled up with us!

The experts will tell you that you shouldn’t make a habit of letting your children sleep with you. They get in the way of intimacy with your husband, the extra person will cause extra movement making everyone sleep less soundly, and it’s not always safe. Still, once in a while, it’s really OK. When your child has had a tough day or is having a bad night, sleeping with you can help her feel peaceful and secure. Cuddling up in bed on a weekend night is also a fun treat.

3. Don’t let your children talk back.

I grew up in a “Yes, sir. No, sir” household. We didn’t talk back, even if all we wanted to do was share our opinions. This is a parental rule that varies from house to house, but as long as your children are respectful, it’s to their benefit to learn to engage with you. How else will we teach them how to dialogue with others?

This doesn’t mean they can badger, argue without end, or show disrespect. If you have a child who’s a habitual back-talker, here are some ideas for you.

4. Make your children do their chores.

If there were ever a perfect scenario to show your children mercy, chores fit the bill. Picture this: “Andrew, I’ll take out the garbage cans for you tonight; I know you have a lot of homework.” Or, “Isabella, you were so nice to help your brother fix his breakfast this morning. I’ll make your bed for you.” Stepping in to take the chore load off your kids allows them to experience the gratitude we feel when people treat us kindly.

5. Let your children learn from failing.

Yes, I was the poster mom for the value of learning from your mistakes. To the crying child in the car who left her homework on the kitchen table: “You have to learn responsibility! I’m not going back home to get it for you!” That was me. No exceptions. Here’s where I messed up on that: I didn’t always take into consideration the overall emotional state of my child or her track record. If your child is on the mark for most things, it is OK to bail them out when they do mess up. And think about what they have going on in their life. They may need your extra support to make it through.

For older children, you really have to weigh the consequences of not helping. My sister and her husband let their son have complete autonomy in filling out his college applications. It was only when he was not accepted for early admission that they realized that the consequences for some failures are too big to use as teachable moments.

So do you agree that these rules should be ignored occasionally? What parental advice do you tend to ignore?

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