There’s a difference between becoming a mom and becoming “Mom.” Some women embrace it as soon as there’s a second line on the pregnancy test while others struggle with the change in identity. One example of the latter is the musician, Grimes, who has a 16-month-old son with her boyfriend Elon Musk.
She recently told Vogue that “being a mother feels weird to say. For some reason, I don’t identify with that word.” She said her son calls her by her first name, which is Claire, and he doesn’t say “mama.” She added, “Maybe he can sense my distaste for the word ‘mother.'” If you can relate to her disconnect to the title or maybe you still feel odd with your new name, here are 3 reasons “Mom” will quickly grow on you.
You never stop being a mom.
While I was on maternity leave with my older son, I had to go into work for a big meeting. I dropped him off at Grandma’s and drove to work on a cool October day with my windows down and the radio blasting. Sitting at the conference table at work, I felt like myself again instead of the spit-up-covered zombie I’d been for the past several weeks. I struggled with why the career version of me felt so right while the mom version felt so off. In hindsight, I can now see I had a mild case of postpartum depression, and also, at the time, my identity as a professional was paramount.
But here’s the thing. Jobs come and go. Those titles feel good, but they can be taken away or passed on to someone else. Becoming a mom is something that can never be undone and that’s why Mom is more than a title—it’s a name. Even women who have tragically lost a child know that they never stop being a mom.Becoming a mom is something that can never be undone and that’s why Mom is more than a title—it’s a name. Click To Tweet
There are things only a mom can do.
My mom and I have a good relationship, but I wouldn’t say we are one of those mother-daughter bestie types. Like many women, we grew closer when I had kids because I reached out for help and wisdom. Now, it’s almost a reflex that when I have a question or a need, I think, “Call Mom!”
At different stages in a child’s life, Mom is the one who gives what no one else can—the hug that fits just right, the advice that’s hard to hear but loving, the relief when your own baby won’t go down for a nap. When you know you’ve given your child the thing no one else can, “thanks, Mom” is the sweetest sound.
You’re not the only mom, but you’re their only mom.
Getting the name “Mom” might feel like being named Jennifer in the 1980s. No offense, Jennifer, but there were four of you in my fifth grade class of 32 kids. When the teacher called on “Jennifer,” she had to clarify which one she was speaking to. For women who are less than enthused about getting the same name as every other woman on the playground, you’ll learn very quickly that m-o-m might be the same three letters, but their sound and feel are very different when coming from your child.
Every woman knows the feeling of relief when she realizes the “Mom!” she hears from the kid who fell off the monkey bars isn’t referring to her. And when your child gets lost and you hear his or her voice, it’s unmistakable that you’re the mom your kid’s been looking for.
Becoming a mom and earning the name is a gift that some women pray for and never receive. Yes, it’s a change to your identity and it can be hard for some women to adjust to, but that change ushers in more blessings and joy than any other title you could hold. So, wear the name proudly, Mom!
How do you feel about being called mom? Do you relate to the role or struggle with that part of your changing identity?