What is the romanticization of mental illness anyway? It’s about portraying conditions like anxiety, depression, or OCD as trendy or cool, often through casual conversation, but also on social media. While many celebrities have spoken out about mental illness and have helped to reduce the stigma, some teens are adopting mental health issues as part of their identity, which can cover up real problems.
According to the National Library of Medicine, “Young people are at increased risk of mental health problems between the ages of 11 and 14, particularly girls.” But both girls and boys can romanticize these struggles, and we don’t want to overlook the signs. Here are 5 signs your teen’s romanticizing mental illness and what you can do.
1. She uses mental-health related slang.
I’m a bit depressy, but in a cute way.
I’m in my sad girl era.
I had a menty b when I found out the test was today!
I had a panic attack at the football game when I saw Ben!
She might say these things in person to you or her friends, but they might be more prevalent on social media. They may come across as lighthearted or in a joking way. But using these words—even in a casual way—might signify something deeper.
What you can do: According to MIBlueDaily, “Awareness of these slang terms can help adults broach a general conversation about mental health” with their teens. Start with curiosity and not judgment to find out what might be going on. “I heard you say you felt ‘stressy depressy.’ What does that mean?” or “It sounds like you’ve been under a lot of stress lately. What’s the hardest thing for you right now?”
2. He seems proud of his emotional pain.
My son’s friend talks about his struggles when they hang out. He’ll say things in a casual way like, “I’m so broken” and “I’m dead inside.” Sometimes teens say things in a way that make their struggles sound edgy or appealing. But the romanticization of mental illness could be a sign that he needs more support.
If your teen has said some of the following statements, he may be romanticizing mental illness and see it as part of his identity:
Being anxious is just part of my vibe.
Crazy is the new normal for me.
I’m a part-time psycho.
I’m a little messed up, but that’s what makes me unique.
What you can do: Ask him, “Do you understand what having anxiety really means?” Talking with him and doing a little research together might shed light on the seriousness of these mental health conditions. And they might uncover any struggles your teen has so you can get the help he needs.
3. She self-diagnoses.
Maybe your teen hasn’t seen a professional, but she seems confident she has PTSD, ADHD, OCD, or an anxiety disorder. University of Utah Health says that teens are at an impressionable age when they want to fit in and belong: “So when they see glimpses of themselves in a video about a mental health disorder, they automatically jump to the conclusion that they should be diagnosed with that disorder.”
What you can do: If your teen thinks she has a mental health condition, ask her how she came to that conclusion. Discuss how feeling anxious or sad at times is normal. Offer to take her to see a mental health professional for extra support as well. And if it’s your teen’s friend who’s self-diagnosing? Encourage your child to ask the friend questions so that a potentially serious problem isn’t missed.
4. He uses mental health language to explain himself.
A friend’s son started spending all his free time weight-lifting at the gym. In addition to his obsessive behavior about working out, what worried his mom were the things he said about his new fitness routine: The gym’s my therapy. I’ll lose my mind if I miss a session. Better to feel sore than broken. She worried that he could be hiding a real struggle.
Like mental-health slang, incorporating terms used to describe a serious mental health condition could be a sign that your teen is struggling in some way. On the other hand, it could be an opportunity to discuss why mental health terms aren’t appropriate to describe normal challenges and the ups and downs of being a teen.
What you can do: If your teen ties weight-lifting, weight-loss, his need to sleep, or other issues to his well-being, and makes his suffering sound heroic, talk to him about better ways to describe his challenges. If he insists he’s describing things accurately, it could be sign he needs more support, or advice from a mental health professional.
5. She follows influencers online who identify with mental illnesses.
If your teen’s social media accounts reflect a heavy interest in those who talk about, identify with, or make light of things like anxiety, eating disorders, or other mental health diagnoses, your teen may be searching for answers about herself. Teen girls, in particular, are struggling with mental health issues more than boys, according to research in Jama. And even subtle signs can point to deeper issues. Though it may turn out that she’s simply looking for attention, don’t ignore her online activity if you’ve noticed she’s following these influencers.
What you can do: Talk to your teen. What does she like about a certain influencer? Having an open conversation can give you a better understanding of why she follows them. And if you suspect it’s more than attention-seeking, it can pave the way for you to get her the real help she needs. The next step might be a call to your child’s pediatrician.
Have you or your teen seen any memes online that encourage the romanticization of mental illness?
