A day I will always treasure as a mom is the day we got our babies baptized in the church where I was baptized, just a few feet away from where Josh and I were married. It was also the day our precious Jack turned 2. In that moment, surrounded by all of my favorite people and celebrating these milestones, I felt such overwhelming joy.
Motherhood should be joyful, and it is! But joy is something we need to protect, too. There are sneaky little joy stealers that try to rob us of our happiness. If you’re a stressed-out mom struggling with any of these 5 joy stealers, here’s how you can take steps to reclaim your joy.
1. Comparison
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to another person, but social media makes comparison almost unavoidable. Scrolling through other moms’ seemingly perfect moments can make us feel like we’re failing at motherhood.
So here’s what I try to focus on: Every family is different, and what works for one mom might not work for another. When I stopped measuring my version of motherhood against someone else’s, I found joy in my own way of doing things. For me, that looks like dance parties in the kitchen while cooking, nighttime snuggles with my Reese, and chasing my wild man Jack everywhere. Your joy in motherhood can be found in the everyday moments that make your family yours.
2. Fear of Failure
Early in my sports broadcasting career, I was so nervous about messing up. That fear of failure affected the way I was on air because I kept worrying about making a mistake. I had to remind myself, “Hey, you did this before, so you can do this again.” I’m still figuring things out every single day, but I’ve learned to make a decision and move forward.
The same fear can paralyze decision-making and steal our joy as moms. Whether it’s worrying about making the wrong choice about discipline, where to send your child to preschool, or even what to pack for lunch, fear keeps us stuck in analysis and worried about how one wrong move might ruin our kids. I’m still figuring out motherhood every single day, just like I do at ESPN. But I’ve realized that fear doesn’t have to steal my joy or make me second-guess myself. I’m their mom for a reason.
3. Perfection Pressure
But even when we push past fear of failure and make decisions, there’s another joy stealer waiting: the pressure to make those decisions perfectly. Perfectionism steals present joy by making us constantly worry about future “what ifs” instead of being fully present with our kids, turning us into stressed-out moms rather than joyful ones. The irony is that all those failures we’re trying so hard to avoid are our greatest teachers.
I remember the failures far more than the successes because I’ve learned so much from them. They’ve helped me grow as a mom. The freedom I’ve found in embracing “good enough” mothering has given me permission to laugh when breakfast ends up on the floor and to celebrate the small wins instead of fixating on what didn’t go as planned.
4. Outside Opinions
Everyone seems to have an opinion about what moms should be doing. Many voices imply that there’s a “right way” to mother, whether it’s relatives, friends, strangers, or someone on social media. Early on, all these opinions caused me to doubt myself and stole my confidence (and my joy).
Learning to trust your instincts as a mom takes courage, and it’s such an important skill to develop. When I look at Reese and Jack, I know without a doubt that no one understands their needs, their hearts, or their sweet quirks quite like Josh and I do. That confidence has allowed me to smile, nod, and trust what I know in my heart when well-meaning people offer an opinion.
5. Mom Guilt
Mom guilt might be the biggest joy stealer of all. The constant feeling that we should be doing more, being better, or making different choices can consume our happiness. As a working mom, I used to feel guilty when I was at work, missing moments with my kids, and guilty when I was with my kids, thinking about work. And, there’s the mom guilt when we do something for ourselves. I remember Jack got upset when I left for a SolidCore workout, and my inner voice said, “Just stay with him. You don’t need to do that for yourself.”
But I’ve learned to replace guilt with gratitude. I’m endlessly grateful to be Reese and Jack’s mama and thankful to have this job and to live this crazy life. Choosing gratitude helps every day seem more manageable and way more joyful.
What joy stealers turn you into a stressed-out mom, and how have you learned to protect your joy?
