As a teen, I was a serious ballet dancer. I studied dance abroad in China and attended a ballet boarding school in Washington, DC. I thought dance would be my career, but the summer I graduated from high school, I decided it wasn’t the path I wanted anymore. Instead of going to the auditions I’d lined up, I enrolled in college.
The pivot felt abrupt, but my parents gave me space to figure it out. Their approach shaped how I plan to parent Reese and Jack as they grow up and their interests evolve. If you need a roadmap for supporting teens through big transitions—whether dropping a longtime sport, stepping away from an extracurricular, or exploring new directions—consider these 5 ways.
1. Recognize it’s your child’s choice.
My parents had sacrificed time, energy, and money to support my dream of becoming a professional ballerina. When I told my parents I was quitting, they had every reason to push back, but instead, they chose to support me fully. Their response gave me the confidence to shape my path, even if I didn’t know what it was.
As a parent, it’s not easy to watch your child walk away from something she’s poured years into—especially when you’ve been right there with her, driving to practices, paying for lessons, and making life adjustments to support her passion. But at the end of the day, giving your teen the freedom to choose, even when it’s hard, helps her develop the autonomy to build a life after high school that truly fits who she is becoming.
2. Talk about the decision without judgment.
Instead of criticizing me for quitting ballet, my mom responded with curiosity. She asked questions like, “What led you to this decision?” “What are you feeling?” Her goal wasn’t to change my mind but to understand my heart. Those conversations helped me gain clarity in my choice instead of feeling guilt or doubt about walking away from such a huge part of my life.
How we respond when supporting teens through transitions matters. When we create a judgment-free space, our kids will feel comfortable opening up. And in the process, we can help them learn to trust their own voices and know that we trust them, too.
3. Encourage your teen to explore new interests.
After I left ballet, my parents didn’t pressure me to find a replacement immediately, but they did encourage me to try new things. That season of curiosity led me to discover my love for sports reporting and broadcasting—something I might never have pursued if they hadn’t nudged me to explore.
For teens, losing a long-time passion can feel like losing a part of themselves. Your teen may struggle with uncertainty about what comes next. That’s where you come in. Encourage him to follow his curiosity, even if his new interests seem entirely different from what he’s done before.
4. Help your teen develop a new sense of identity.
For years, I was “the ballet girl.” My life revolved around dance, and it became a huge part of who I was. So when I walked away, I wasn’t just leaving ballet—I was letting go of an identity I had carried for most of my life. I’m so grateful for my mom, who kept pointing out qualities in me that had nothing to do with dance: my resilience, my way with people, my analytical mind, my sense of humor. She helped me see that my worth wasn’t tied to a title or a talent. And that shift made all the difference.
Many teens define themselves by what they do: “the soccer player,” “the band kid,” “the debate captain.” When that identity is suddenly gone, it can leave them feeling lost. For your teen, point out her strengths, character traits, and unique qualities you love about her. The more she recognizes her value beyond achievements, the more confident she’ll be in embracing whatever comes next.
5. Keep being her biggest cheerleader.
My parents didn’t just accept my decision to quit ballet. They made sure I knew they were still proud of me. Their support let me know that my change in direction didn’t mean I was letting them down. That shaped me. And now, as a mom to Jack and Reese, I think about the kind of encouragement I want to give them. Supporting young kids looks different than supporting teens, but it’s never too early to start cheering on our kids.
If your child is pivoting paths, your support matters more than you realize. Let him know you trust, support, and, most importantly, love him through the uncertainty.
Supporting teens through major pivots can be tough. How do you cope with the emotions of letting go of dreams you once had for your child?
