My neighbor Kendra and I talked over the backyard fence as our kids tossed a ball from one side to the other. When the ball dropped and disappeared in some ground cover, we hardly noticed until Kendra’s son shrieked, “Mom! Come look!” The boys had found a baby bird, lying in a clump of grass, its large black eyes blinking slowly as it clung to life. “What happened?” my son asked, crouching down beside the bird. Glancing up at the nearby spruce tree that resonated with twitters and tweets, I had a good guess. “Poor baby bird,” I said. The boys begged Kendra and me to help. “I don’t want him to die,” my son said and, despite the dire circumstances for the bird, my heart rejoiced to hear my son’s empathy.
Throughout our days, we have numerous occasions to teach character values to our kids. Learning generosity with a sibling or empathy for an injured animal is woven into ordinary, everyday events. Here are 3 ways teaching character traits is easy to do any day of the week.
1. Read books.
My little son snuggled next to me on the couch. “Why do you think Pigeon wants to drive the bus?” I asked, flipping the page to Mo Willem’s Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. My son studied the page, his chubby finger resting on the blue bird. “Because it’s fun!” he said. When we got to the end of the book, we found the Pigeon sitting in a truck because the bus driver wouldn’t let the bird drive his bus. “Wow,” I said. “That pigeon doesn’t give up, does he? He really perseveres. I like his determination!” I paused for a moment. “It kind of reminds me of you, learning to play the violin. You have a lot of determination too. In what other ways are you like the pigeon?” I asked.
There are tons of great books to use to teach character. Sitting with your child and reading to him is a great way to start conversations about character traits we value and want our kids to learn. If the character in the book has grit, like Mo Willems’s pigeon, it’s easier to explain that value.
2. Be the example.
For my friend’s birthday, I bought her a pretty lavender plant. I debated dropping it off at her house before picking up the kids from school but decided to do it afterward. My kids needed to see how I celebrated my friend on her special day. I wanted them to see kindness, generosity, and thoughtfulness in action. So, with the kids watching from the car, I ran up to my friend’s doorstep and gave her the plant and a hug.
By modeling the virtues I want my kids to have, I’m setting an example for them. Volunteering at church and using good manners and language also show kids what character traits we value. They’re always watching us and how we handle what life throws at us! Why not use opportunities when we interact with others, along with how we talk to them, to demonstrate the character traits we want our kids to have?
3. Have frequent conversations about your family’s values.
“Calling people by name shows respect,” I told my son. Later in the week, my daughter didn’t want to get out of bed. “Going to church is important,” I said, sliding open her curtains. “Put on some nice clothes.” And just last night, we talked about another value at dinner: “When you only tell part of the truth, you’re not being honest.” Throughout the week, it’s our job to reinforce our family’s values to build strong character in our kids.
As kids get older, they’re going to spend more time with other kids and less time with us. But moms, the work continues throughout the adolescent years. They will need us more than ever. Being able to discuss situations at dinner or bedtime with our kids to reinforce the values we feel are important can go a long way in shaping their character. Keep being that presence in their lives and that voice in their ears so when they’re grown, they will be people we not only love, but respect too.
Being able to discuss situations at dinner or bedtime with our kids to reinforce the values we feel are important can go a long way in shaping their character. Click To TweetHow can teaching character traits to your kids strengthen your relationships with them?
