When I was young, I took golf lessons. There were many times when I would get frustrated because I couldn’t figure out why my shot would be perfect one moment and then terrible the next. Finally, the woman giving me my lessons narrowed it down to three things. She said, Keep your balance in the center, your left arm straight, and your eye on the ball. She told me that if I hit a bad shot, then it was probably one of those three things that went wrong. It worked, and I’ve remembered the lesson ever since.
Like golf, good parenting has its fundamentals. When things feel off, it usually comes down to a few basics. We do it well one moment, and then two minutes later, it’s a different story. So what are the fundamentals? Here are the 4 C’s of good parenting every mom can lean on.
1. Confidence
A good mom is confident in her ability to “be the mom.” When you parent your children, you want them to feel secure in your ability to make good decisions on their behalf. It’s not that you need to appear perfect, but you do want to take charge so your children know they can depend on you. Plus, all moms know how children push back and test our limits. If you stand firm, confidently, you help your children learn how to live within boundaries.
Remind yourself: “I’m not perfect, but I am the perfect mom for my child. I can lead with strength, love, and wisdom.”
2. Calmness
When you lose it, you pretty much leave the land of “good parenting.” When you parent from a place of anger, a lost temper, or constant screaming, you lose your effectiveness. When you stay calm, you can think more clearly and make thoughtful decisions. Plus, when you’re composed, your children are more likely to regulate their emotions as well.
Remind yourself: “I can stay calm even when things get hard. My peace helps create peace in my home.”
3. Consistency
A wishy-washy mom isn’t helping herself or her children. Sure, you need to adjust once in a while, but you should stick to your well-thought-out plans around discipline and other expectations you have for your children. Of course, consistency doesn’t mean you treat all of your children the same. But you are consistent in how you deal with each child individually.
Remind yourself: “I may not get it right every time, but my steady love and follow-through give my child security.”
4. Caring
Our kids know we love them, but they also need to feel our care in the everyday moments. Caring goes beyond meeting basic needs. It shows up when we slow down to listen to our kids’ stories, encourage their unique gifts or abilities, or do the small things that make them feel seen and valued. Those little moments add up to a big message: You matter to me.
Remind yourself: “I love being my child’s mom. In the everyday moments of listening, laughing, and showing kindness, I’m showing my child just how deep my love goes.”
How have you incorporated the 4 C’s of good parenting into your life?
