Search
Close this search box.

Share what kind of mom you are!

Get to know other mom types!

5 Things Your Teens Have in Common With Toddlers

“What would you do if your daughter screamed ‘I hate you!’ and stormed out the door?” a mom of a 3-year-old asked me. I thought back to the countless moms of teens who had asked me that same question when I was a youth minister. My answer for the toddler mom was the same as it had been for the moms of teens—I’d let her vent outside, but then bring her in. I’d acknowledge her feelings of frustration and anger, but then remind her of the house rules. The only difference here was that I didn’t need to warn that mom to hide her keys if her kid has a history of taking off in the family car. Luckily for all of us, toddlers don’t drive.

I have been both a youth minister to teens and a mom to toddlers, and I still can’t get over the similarities. Parenting toddlers is tough; so is raising teens. But the good news? The toddler years are a phase that passed, and the teen years will pass, too. Plus, you can use some of the same tactics again now that you used when your children were toddlers. Just consider these 5 things your teens have in common with toddlers.

1. Mood Swings

We got some practice with tantrums when our children were toddlers, but teen mood swings tend to last longer and can be harder to handle. But I’ve found that the best way to handle mood swings in either toddlers or teens is to wait them out. When my daughter throws herself on the floor, I just patiently watch. She might yell and slam her fists against the ground, but eventually, she’ll run out of steam, and I’ll be there to hold her.

You can respond to your teens in the same way— just be there ready to love them. They might not be as willing to accept hugs from you as a toddler is, but if you approach your teens’ mood swings with patient love, they will find some relief.

2. High Sleep Needs

Many toddlers will sleep 10 to 12 hours overnight and still nap at midday. But toddlers aren’t the only ones with high sleep needs. Plenty of teens love to sleep in until noon on the weekends. Most teens aren’t getting enough sleep during the school week, so their bodies instinctively try to make up for that lack of sleep over the weekend.

Between shifting hormones and rapid physical growth, teens experience a biological drive to get increased sleep. As their mom, you can help your teens develop good sleep habits that satisfy this need. Consider taking phones and tablets away before teens go to bed. Help them to create a schedule that allows them to maintain regular periods of sleep. Just like a toddler needs to be encouraged to sleep when he doesn’t want to, your need might need that from you too.

3. Rapid Physical Change

The toddler and teen years are periods of rapid physical change. Both toddlers and teens feel awkward in their skin, either because their bodies are already changing or because they’re not changing as fast as their peers’ bodies. When my son was little, he used to regularly bump his head against the underside of the kitchen table. He was used to being short enough to walk beneath it, but suddenly, he wasn’t anymore. Physical changes can be a lot more difficult for teens, who are much more self-aware. Teens need to be reminded regularly that the changes are normal, their bodies are good, and the teen years are hard on everyone in different ways.

4. Struggle for Self-Control

At my daughter’s first birthday party, I remember a toddler boy shoving her down as he passed her. When his mom asked him why he did it, he could only say, “I just felt like it.” In my years working with teens, I’ve heard that explanation plenty. Why did you shove that boy? “I just felt like it.” Why did you insult your classmate? “I just felt like it.” Teens and toddlers just don’t think before they act. I have often heard people say that toddlers are “pure act.” Their brains just don’t have the capacity to think rationally in the face of strong emotions. The same is true for teens. Self-control is a constant struggle. That’s why rules and boundaries for toddlers and teens are so important.

5. Quest for Self-Discovery

Having discovered that they are indeed separate from Mom, toddlers often adopt their two favorite words—“me” and “no.” They want to know how far they can go. Teens are the same way. Like toddlers, they’re trying to figure out who they are and what their limits are. Toddlers might try to sneak outside to play on the swingset when their parents aren’t looking. Teens might sneak out their bedroom window. But trust me, as much as teens might push boundaries in their desire for independence, they still rely on you as their safe place to return.

As much as teens might push boundaries in their desire for independence, they still rely on you as their safe place to return. Click To Tweet

What were the most challenging aspects of parenting your children when they were toddlers?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

What’s your earliest memory?

Get daily motherhood

ideas, insight, &inspiration

to your inbox!

Search