At the end of the day, my little girl handed me a picture she drew at school with two creatures (bunnies? dogs?) playing in some grass. “I made it for you during free time!” she said. That told me she’d been thinking about me. The thought stirred my heart, and I scooped her up into a hug. Sometimes, showing love is more impactful than saying it. And my daughter showed me love with her art. I wanted to show my daughter love, too.
We love our kids so much. And you might think it’s impossible to love them any more. But showing love in different ways helps them grow up strong and confident. Plus, it shows you’re always thinking of them. You probably do a lot these things already, but here are 14 ways to love your kiddos well!
1. Hug longer.
Hold longer and closer. Try a full-body, 10-second hug. How does he respond?
2. Reflect and repair.
If you lose your cool, reflect on what you did in a conversation with your child and acknowledge what you did wrong. Repair the relationship by listening to how she feels. Try to understand where she’s coming from, and then take responsibility for what you did. This will not only help you both to move on from the situation, but will draw you closer together as well.
3. Control less, and give more options.
One way to help kids to gain confidence is to give them practice making choices. But they need opportunities, so let’s work some in throughout the day: what to wear, when to empty the dishwasher, which books are ready to go back to the library.
4. Use your funny bone.
Being silly and lighthearted can often make a frustrating situation with your child better. Penn State College of Medicine professor Benjamin Levi says humor is “an effective parenting tool, not only to diffuse tension” but to “develop resilience and cognitive and emotional flexibility in themselves and [then] model it for their children.” Infusing humor in the day-to-day is also a good way to show love!
5. Choose not to criticize.
I’ve realized my pickiness comes at a cost: it sometimes makes my kids give up or quit. Because I love my kiddos, I’m trying to be less critical and more grateful for their effort.
6. Write it down.
Put it on a Post-it, then stick it to the bathroom mirror. Stash it in the lunchbox. Or scribble it on the next calendar page in your kid’s school planner: “Love you, kiddo!”
Print out our free Love Notes and stick one in your child’s planner or lunchbox today!
7. Let them know your love isn’t conditional.
“Our job is to let [kids] know they are enough, right now, in this moment,” says Jennifer Breheny Wallace in her book, Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—And What We Can Do About It. Be a loving presence not just when they ace the test or score the winning goal but also when they get a C or ride the bench too.
8. Encourage exploration and creativity.
Our kids don’t need to be on task every hour of the day. Daydreaming and creating develop other parts of the brain. Loving our kids well allows space and time for these activities.
9. When they fail, make your default response “It’s OK.”
Because that’s the best way to teach your child how to rebound when things don’t go as expected. We want our kids to be able to get up, dust themselves off, and keep going. Letting her know you’re not disappointed in her encourages that.
10. Let him know you don’t just love him but you like him too.
A kid could think his mom has to love him. But when you like him, that’s a choice. And he sees that.
11. Ignore the mess more often.
Choosing to spend an hour reading to your child while the dirty dishes go undone will strengthen your connection and establish a memory.
12. Spend time on the floor with her.
When you sit on the floor with your child, you enter her world. It’s not always your first choice for fun, but to her, it shows your love.
13. Bring him into your world.
When it’s appropriate, share some of your own struggles during the day as well as the good things that have happened. Your child isn’t there for you to unload on, but you can be a role model demonstrating a healthy way to talk about your feelings. Building connection and emotional intelligence with your children also shows love.
14. Let her know you’re glad she’s your child—exactly the way she is.
And if your kid is like mine, she’s imperfect, sometimes messy, and on occasion, crabby. Nevertheless, tell your child: I’m so glad you’re my kid. I love you just the way you are. And I always will!
For more ideas to show your child love, print out our free Love Your Child Challenge.
What do you do that sends the message “I love my kiddos?”
