My son squirmed as I tried to rub sunscreen across his cheeks. With his eyes pinched shut, he howled: “No, Mommy! Yuck!” Sweat beaded my forehead as I struggled to keep him still. Nearby, my daughter flung her teether out of her stroller—again. I let it sit there and turned back to my son. “Sweetheart,” I said, as calmly as I could. “You have to wear sunscreen when we go to the park. Sit still.” He wriggled out of my grip and ran down the hall, crying, “Noooo!” I groaned, frustrated. When I checked my watch and saw that we were already late to meet our friends, I wanted to throw my hands up and quit. Why was this so hard? I was tired of racking up the little mom fails by the hour! I wanted to feel like a more successful mom.
Luckily, that day, we were meeting up with a friend who had it together. Just watching how she managed her three young children made me want to take notes. I learned a lot from her and, with time, was able to incorporate some of her tactics into my own parenting. If you want to have more success in your days as a mom, try these 5 tips that I learned from my very successful mom friend.
1. Explain what’s going to happen ahead of time.
“We’re going to pick up the toys in five minutes and then get in the car.” Giving notice prepares kids at any age for the transition to something else. It’s like watching the buttons illuminate in an elevator as you approach the right floor. Get ready because you’re about to get off. What if the elevator doors spontaneously flew open without warning? “Oh, sorry! Wasn’t ready. Oops. Here we go.” Just as elevator lights help us prepare for stepping off the lift, your verbal warnings help kids step into their next task.
Just as elevator lights help us prepare for stepping off the lift, your verbal warnings help kids step into their next task. Click To Tweet2. Set healthy limits.
It’s easy on a rainy day to turn on the TV and let the kids veg. But is all that screen time healthy? My mom used to say, “Everything in moderation.” I think this holds true for screen time, snacks, and even playtime. Too much time at the park and your little one might miss her nap. Having a limit in mind before starting an activity will be better for you and your kids. Also, when they know what the limit is ahead of time, they’ll offer less resistance later.
3. Don’t give empty threats.
Do you want to improve your kids’ listening skills and their respect for your word? One of the easiest ways to gain ground on both is to follow through. Don’t say “I’m going to throw away the Batmobile if you lie to me again” knowing you could never do it. If the kiddos are misbehaving in the back seat and you’ve said, “I’m going to turn around and go home if you do that again,” make sure you do. Otherwise, the kids will eventually tune you out.
4. Have household rules and consequences hung up.
I love visual aids and decided to hang a household rules chart in our kitchen for everyone to see. I kept the words to a minimum and used pictures so even my littlest one would understand. We also decided on consequences as a family. A big X across a picture of a TV made things clear. Once we had a good list hung up, we reviewed it daily. And if someone tested the rules, all I had to do was point to the chart: “You did X, so now you have lost X.”
5. Don’t work on credit.
Once our family decided that certain things like iPad time were privileges, not rights, we needed to teach the kids how to earn them. At three, my son could earn Daniel Tiger by picking up his toys and putting them in the right bins. Teaching your kids that good behavior earns privileges is something their teachers will do once they start school. So why not start now?
My successful mom-friend used these strategies with her kids and warned me there would be pushback at first. But she said change would come. “Celebrate the successes,” she advised. “It’s their success, but also yours.”
What are some successful strategies you’ve used with your children?
