No judgment. But, when was the last time you romanced your husband? Between work, kids, household responsibilities, and just plain ol’ adulting, romance often falls to the bottom of the priority list. (If it makes the list at all).
Thankfully, marriage doesn’t usually need grand gestures. According to Dr. John Gottman’s research published in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, the happiest couples maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions during conflict. When that’s paired with what he calls a “culture of appreciation”—a habit of expressing respect, appreciation, and affection—it forms the foundation that keeps you both feeling safe, seen, and connected.
If you’re ready to start small but start somewhere, here are 15 romantic ideas for him that are as realistic as they are meaningful.
Communicate with intention.
1. Send unexpected messages.
Sometimes the best romantic ideas for him are the simplest ones. Surprise him with a sweet (or spicy) text in the middle of his workday, or tuck a love note in his jacket where he’ll find it later. Or send a one-word text like “Tonight?” (Don’t forget the winking emoji.) These small gestures remind him you’re thinking about him.
2. Listen without distractions.
Put your phone down, make eye contact, and let him share his thoughts fully before responding. This kind of focused attention shows genuine interest in what matters to him.
3. Speak his value out loud.
Tell him you’re proud of him, and say it in front of the kids or his friends. Public affirmation is powerful because it shows you respect who he is, not just what he does for you and the kids.
Do something thoughtful.
4. Prepare something he loves.
Whether it’s his favorite dinner, his coffee made just right, or making sure his go-to outfit is clean and ready for that big meeting, these thoughtful acts show you pay attention to his preferences. Or pick up his favorite snack or drink at the store on your way home, just because.
5. Create a cozy vibe.
Light candles in the bedroom, get dinner going in the crockpot so the house smells amazing by 6 p.m., or put on low music and dim the lights. Small atmospheric touches signal “tonight is different” without saying a word.
6. Plan a surprise based on something he mentioned.
Pay attention when he casually mentions wanting to try that new taco place, needing new running shoes, or wishing he could catch a game. Then make it happen without him bringing it up again. Romantic ideas for him don’t have to be elaborate—just thoughtful. This lets him know you listened, you remembered, and you cared enough to follow through.
Set aside time for him.
7. Recreate your first date.
Go back to that same restaurant, order the same drinks, or just recreate the feeling of those early days when everything felt new and exciting. Or search for some early photos of you two and pose yourself in the same way! You chose each other then, and you’re still choosing each other now. That’s romantic!
8. Join him in his interests.
Watch that Netflix series with him, ask about his work projects, or get curious about his new interest in vinyl records. You don’t have to love everything he loves, but showing interest says, “You matter to me.”
9. Start a weekly check-in ritual.
Set aside 20-30 minutes each week. Think Saturday-morning coffee before the kids wake up or a walk around the block after dinner on Monday nights. Use that time to just hang out and connect instead of syncing the family calendars or talking about the kids. Romantic ideas for him include consistent, protected time that shows your husband, “You matter enough that I make time for us.”
10. Make it a “kids-eat-in-front-of-the-TV, adults-only” dinner night.
Put on music you both loved when you were dating. Make grilled cheeses for the kids and something else for the two of you. Then head to your room for a little one-on-one dinner date, without having to book the sitter.
Reach for him.
11. Initiate touch throughout the day.
Kiss him when he walks in the door, hold his hand unexpectedly, sit on his lap while you’re talking, or offer a massage after a long day. Physical connection doesn’t always have to lead
somewhere. Sometimes it’s just about closeness. (Psst. Try the 14-Day Kiss Your Husband Challenge!)
12. Be playful and flirtatious.
Grab his arm when he walks by, text him something you’d never say out loud in front of the kids, or give him “the look” across the dinner table that says, “Later.” You can remind him about the kids’ soccer game afterwards. For now, remind him you still think he’s hot.
13. Greet him first.
Meet him at the door (or in the garage) before the kids swarm him. Even 30 seconds of connection—a hug, a kiss, eye contact—reminds him you’re excited to see him. Or if he gets home first, text him after you’ve parked and invite him outside for a little smooch.
14. Support his hobbies and guy time with his friends.
Whether it’s woodworking, gaming, or fly fishing with his buddy, encourage him to enjoy his interests without making him feel bad about the time it takes. Sometimes being romantic means encouraging him to recharge.
15. Say yes to his ideas.
When your husband suggests ordering DoorDash instead of cooking or pitches a weekend road trip, resist the urge to list all the reasons why not. Say yes to the spontaneous and the imperfect. Being the fun, flexible one (instead of always the practical one) keeps the relationship feeling less like a project and more like a partnership.
So which one of these romantic ideas for him will you try first…or second?!
