I followed closely as my daughter toddled down the sidewalk. She quickly came to a halt, reached down, and picked up a small object. I sprang into action, snatching the cigarette butt from her hands just as she raised it to her mouth. “Icky,” I said, and I threw the trash as far away as I could. She shrieked and even tried to relocate her mystery treasure in the grass, but I scooped her up and carried her farther down the walk. My kid wasn’t putting that in her mouth on my watch. It was a nice save by me, and it’s because I’m a helicopter mom.
When most people hear “helicopter mom,” they think of a child in bubble wrap for a playdate or an anti-peanut household not because of a known allergy, but just in case. Helicopter parenting is primarily viewed as negative, and don’t get me wrong—in extreme cases, it can be. But there are many positive things helicopter parents do that help children thrive. Here are 5 things we can learn from helicopter moms.
1. Keep a tight schedule.
Keeping kids on a strict schedule isn’t restrictive. In fact, it’s quite the opposite! Because there is a time for everything, my kids know what to expect out of each day. They’re never blindsided by missed naps or weird mealtimes, which are common culprits for meltdowns in young children. And they know brushing their teeth before bed is part of the routine, so they do it without fuss!
2. Immediately scan for dangers and weaknesses.
This is a helicopter mom superpower, and it’s twofold. We can walk into a house or park and instantly recognize all potential dangers. We don’t wait for the danger to present itself; we seek it out so we can take precautionary measures. We also keep a log of our kids’ weaknesses handy in our brain so we can rate the threat of each potential danger. Here’s an example. Coordination is my 2-year-old’s weakness; even for a kid his age, he is clumsy and lacks a sense of spatial awareness when he’s engrossed in play. So when we go to the park, I know I must keep a closer eye on him when he’s playing on the higher structures that have many drop-offs.
3. Stay hyperaware of your child’s emotions.
Because helicopter moms are often hyper-focused on their children, they are usually in touch with their children’s feelings. Just by watching my daughter’s facial expressions and body language in different settings, I can often recognize what she is feeling. It’s a gift moms have to sense when their children feel uncomfortable or scared in situations where it may be hard for them to communicate.
It's a gift moms have to sense when their children feel uncomfortable or scared in situations where it may be hard for them to communicate. Click To Tweet4. Fiercely advocate for your family.
Since the safety of our kids is of utmost importance, we quickly learn to advocate on their behalf—both fervently and fiercely. We trust in our mother’s intuition and choose to make choices based on what we feel is best for our family. If a person is looking to me to “make” my daughter give him a hug when my daughter is clearly uncomfortable, I don’t hesitate to support her decision by letting the person know she will not be hugging him.
5. Make tricky spaces safe.
Because we see danger everywhere, we’re masters at creating safe spaces for kids. Creating safe spaces could look like a house with every electrical outlet safely covered or a play area free of age-inappropriate toys. It could also look like walking into a friend’s house and asking if it’s OK for you to remove certain items from your child’s reach, like glass vases or stray cords, or placing a backpack leash on your child while venturing through a theme park. Creating safe spaces gives us the peace of mind to allow our kids to play more freely and practice their independence. When the chances of my child harming himself are lower, so is my mom anxiety.
Is there something you do that may cause you to be labeled a “helicopter mom?”
