Marriage Problems

5 Things to Protect Your Relationship During Conflict


If you can agree on rules before you’re in an argument, you can avoid things turning really ugly.  Of course, rules don’t remove the emotions or solve the problem; instead, they make the disagreement manageable by setting the stage for constructive communication. Finally, rules allow the real issues to be uncovered much faster.

Here are 5 things we suggest to keep in mind to protect your relationship during a conflict.

1. Honor and Kindness

Let this be your goal in conflict.  Remember in all of your words and actions to honor and act kindly to your husband.

2. Time, Place and Time Out

In the middle of a family dinner, or at 10pm when you and your husband are both exhausted, may not be the best time to address your issues.  While you can’t always control when conflict occurs, you can decide not to continue a discussion that you know is headed for an argument.  Likewise, sometimes it’s necessary to take a break to cool off.  However, remember to finish the discussion once you’re both calm.

3. Communication

This action involves speaking and listening; they work together.

[A Communication Method That Works]

4. Solution

Agree upon a “win-win” solution where the needs of both sides are met.  If it is a need, avoid compromising.  Techniques like brainstorming, pros v. cons list and 1-10 scale of importance are helpful.

[A Solution for Putting Your Conflict to REST]

5. Forgive and Make Up

Once the argument is done, it’s done.  Take the time to you need to calm down and move to forgiveness.  Finally, (kiss and) make up.

[5 Steps of Forgiveness]

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