It’s important to keep an emotional connection as a couple, and Mark and I have learned some ways to make that happen. I say make that happen because if you don’t put your mind to staying connected to your husband, a thousand other things will get in the way of doing it. Or, in my case, 5 children — even though I loved them — had a habit of getting in the way.
These 6 things will help you stay connected to your husband.
1. Be courteous and kind to each other.
Much of courtesy begins with the words we say to our husband. There’s a really fine line between words that build up and words that don’t. There’s also the words we say and how we say them. And, of course, remember the basics — please and thank you go a long way.
2. Talk about issues before they get out of hand.
I’m the worst at this because I’m a camel that can handle a lot of straw, but there comes that one piece that pushes me over my limit and then I’m a flood of “justified” anger. That’s the wrong way to do things because at that point I am coming from a place of rage. If I address things earlier, my frustration wouldn’t have grown to such a magnitude.
3. Support each other.
This is super important. If you don’t support each other and learn about each other’s dreams and aspirations then you will become disconnected. When you support each other and you enter into each other’s world, you can become the cheerleader. We want our husband to share his feelings with us, not with someone else.
If you don’t support each other and learn about each other’s dreams and aspirations then you will become disconnected.
4. Date regularly.
Create a bucket a list and when you check something off you’ll make your connection with your husband stronger. No pressure here—they can be simple things you do together that will bring you closer together!
5. Live in a “we” world.
Whenever I find myself saying “I, I, I,” I know that I’m in the wrong mindset. I’m acting like I do everything, or I do everything alone, whether it’s raising the kids or work. Instead, have a mentality of teamwork — these are our kids, our home, our family. This is our life together and we have to go down the same path.
6. Be physically intimate.
It’s no surprise that this is important to most men — including Mark! I have never heard anyone say, I wish I were less affectionate with my husband. Life is short. We don’t want to say at the end of our life, I wish I had hugged my husband more. I wish I had held my husband’s hand more. With my heart issues I often think, “Ok, this might be the last time…” So we need to drill down and laser focus on what’s really important in life. It is loving well, and that’s what staying connected to our husband is all about.
How will you work on the emotional connection in your marriage this week?