- Lauren Dungy
- Shaunti Feldhahn
- Tim and Darcy Kimmel
- Betsy Landers
- Dr. Walt Larimore
- Mark Merrill
- Joanne Miller
- Dr. Gary J. Oliver
- Kathy Peel
- Dr. Greg Smalley
- Dr. Scott Turansky
- Jill Savage
Articles by Dr. Scott Turansky
- Why Firmness Doesn't Require Harshness
- Why Fair Doesn't Mean Equal
- What's Your Child's Personality Type?
- Time Out or Take a Break ?
- Three Factors to Remember About Character Training
- The Value of Generosity
- The Unmotivated Child
- The Secret to Prompt Obedience
- The Secret to Helping Children to Do What’s Right
- The Secret to Constructive Discipline
- Teaching Children about Sex
- Taking a Break vs. Time Out
- Strong-willed Kids
- Some Suggestions for Dealing with Attention Deficit Disorder
- More Than Obedience
- How to Stop the Whining and Complaining
- How to Make Parenting Shifts
- How to Bookmark the Good Days in Parenting
- How to Avoid the Boxing Ring with Your Kids
- Honor one another – even your brothers and sisters!
- Honor Lessons
- Honor favor #9: Adopting others
- Honor favor #8: Helping others in conflict
- Honor favor #7: Speech
- Honor favor #6: Prayer
- Honor favor #5: Generosity
- Honor favor #4: Service
- Honor favor #3: Ministry
- Honor favor #2: Hospitality
- Honor favor #1: Modeling
- Honor Changes People
- Helping Children Deal with Their Anger
- Gratitude or Overindulgence?
- Emotions are Complex Tools for Communication
- Discipline - Run the Parenting Race
- Defibrillating Your Child's Heart
- Dealing With Anger in Children
- Character Training Step 6: Follow-up – Continue to Work on Solutions
- Character Training Step 5 Motivation – Inspire Change
- Character Training Step 4: Treatment – Provide Instructions for Working on the Solution
- Character Training Step 3: Solution – Name and Define Each Solution
- Character Training Step 2: How to Diagnose Strengths and Weaknesses
- Character Training Step 1: Observation – Recognize the Problem
- Character Training – A Systematic Approach
- Behavior: Getting to the Heart of It
- Attitudes – Bad to Good
- Affirming Effort Toward Right Behavior
- A Work In Progress
- 8 ways to prepare your children for dealing with tragedy
- 7 Ways to Teach Self-Control
Dr. Scott TuranskyDr. Scott Turansky offers moms practical, real-life advice for many of parenting’s greatest challenges. read bio
The Unmotivated Child
Unmotivated children are generally passive, cooperative, flexible, easygoing, and accommodating. These children may be easier to get along with because they lack the drive of strong-willed people. Still, even unmotivated children can be strong willed sometimes; it's just not their general tendency.
Marcus is content to let others lead. When his friend George comes over to play, Marcus lets him pick the game and decide when they'll move on to something else. George tells Marcus what to do, and Marcus seems content to follow along. Mom, who's rather strong-willed herself, feels uncomfortable with the situation. She wishes Marcus would be the leader. Marcus needs to learn to lead at times, especially if George wants to do something that is wrong, but Mom need to let Marcus be Marcus. She may need to adjust her expectations, recognizing that her son's personality strengths are different from hers.
Unmotivated children may seem easier to raise, but parents also struggle with these kids at times. They may not have the fortitude to stand up for themselves, withstand temptation, or push hard to complete a task. They're sometimes people-pleasers and may be easily directed in positive or negative ways, depending on who they're with. Interestingly enough, when it comes to defiance, these kids may be just as stubborn as strong-willed children.
One day, Marcus decides he doesn't want to play with George anymore. As Mom discusses the issue with Marcus, she discovers his frustration is motivating him to give up. In fact, he does this regularly. If he doesn't get what he wants easily, he moves on to something else. Mom helps Marcus understand he should challenge George sometimes. She begins to equip her son with strategies and ideas and even coaches him to gently stand up for himself while George is over. Once Marcus puts his mom's ideas into practice, the boys play nicely more often and Marcus has a good time.
In the same way strong-willed children need stronger fences in their lives, unmotivated children often need the brush cleared off their paths of life. Children who tend to give up easily need help to see the path more clearly so they can take steps necessary for success.
Used with permission from the book Parenting is Heart Work by Scott Turansky, D.Min. and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N (Effective Parenting, Inc.).comments powered by Disqus