- Lauren Dungy
- Shaunti Feldhahn
- Tim and Darcy Kimmel
- Betsy Landers
- Dr. Walt Larimore
- Mark Merrill
- Joanne Miller
- Dr. Gary J. Oliver
- Kathy Peel
- Dr. Greg Smalley
- Dr. Scott Turansky
- Jill Savage
Articles by Shaunti Feldhahn
- Your Husband Really Wants to Make You Happy
- Why Men Feel Trapped
- Why Men Feel Inadequate
- When Your Teens Shock You—React Like This
- What Teens Really Want - By The Numbers
- What Men Have to Say about Romance
- The Secret to Making Your Husband Happy
- The Male Factor
- The Four Truths About What Teens Really Want
- The Five Respect Needs of Men
- The Five Facts of Freedom
- One of the Biggest Communication Mistakes Parents Make
- Learning How to Let It Go
- A Disrespect Barometer
- 5 Ways to Bridge the "Sex Gap"?
- 4 Ways to Deal with Your Teenager’s Independence
- 4 Ways to Bring Out Your Hubby's Romantic Side
- 3 Things Your Kids Will Say One Day - That You Won’t Want to Hear
Shaunti FeldhahnShaunti Feldhahn is a best-selling author. Her books have sold two million copies and have been translated into fifteen different languages. Shaunti is a longtime nationally syndicated columnist and holds a master's degree in public policy from Harvard University. read bio
What Teens Really Want - By The Numbers
Author Shaunti Feldhahn says they want boundaries and their parents' involvement in their lives.
1. Most teenagers say that they want to grow up to be a good person. If you had to choose between two ways that your parents could relate to you, which one would you choose to help you become the good person you want to be?
|They set reasonable rules; they ensure that I do my homework;
they care about who I hang out with and how healthy I am;
and they try to create family time and stay involved in my life.
| They hang out with me; they usually buy me things I want;
they usually let me do the things I want to do and go where
I want to go; they don't bug me about homework;
and they don't hold me to rules.
2. Imagine this scenario: Your parents don't allow you to go to a concert with kids they suspect drink a lot, and you are furious. But later you find that everyone was drinking and driving home drunk. If you had been there, you would have had to make an uncomfortable choice between seeming uncool by refusing to get in the car or riding with a drunk driver. Looking back, are you glad your parents made you stay home?
|Yes, although I may not admit it,
I'm glad to have been spared that dilemma,
which my parents may have anticipated.
| No, I should have been able to make my own choice,
and I would have handled that dilemma fine.
3. Do you consider yourself a good kid?
4. Of the ones that consider themselves a good kid, have you committed any of these offenses three or more times: drinking, using drugs, wild partying, sneaking out, having sexual intercourse or oral sex, stealing, or driving at scary speeds (more than forty miles per hour above the speed limit)?
Taken with permission from For Parents Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
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