A friend of mine had the honor of officiating another friend’s wedding. After the ceremony, the photographer gathered the bride, the groom, and the officiant for a photo of them signing the marriage certificate. The officiant leaned over to write and the photographer commented that his bald head was going to come out extra shiny in the photo. He told me that not only was he hurt by what she’d said, but he also didn’t think she would ever say something critical like that to a woman. He’s probably right.
There might not be as much pressure on men’s looks as there is on women’s, but guys can still be self-conscious, especially with images of buff dudes in every superhero movie and television show. Fortunately for my friend, his wife has always been there with the right words to build him up, all the way to the top of his bald, shiny head. Women aren’t the only ones who need to be reassured of their attractiveness, so do you know how to make a man feel desired? These 10 things will make it clear you are into him.
1. Come onto him.
“You know I love you and I’m attracted to you, but can we skip sex? I’m just so tired.” Have you ever said this to your husband? I have. I’m sure my husband believes me, but at the same time, he thinks, “If she really wanted me, the tiredness wouldn’t matter.” After all, he’s said he’s always game! When a woman flirts, initiates sex, or leaves notes that express how she feels, a guy thinks, “She really does want me!”
2. Talk him up in front of other people.
This is one of the ideas for how to make a man feel desired that can really boost his self-esteem, too. I’m convinced my husband can fix anything, so when we’re around friends and someone mentions a problem, I always offer my husband’s assistance. I’ve probably gotten him into some commitments he’d rather have avoided, but talking him up shows him that I’m proud to be his wife. Feel free to brag about him in front of the kids, too.
3. Let him catch you looking at him.
When he notices you noticing him, give a side smile or a wink. Let your eye contact linger for a little while.
4. Cop a feel.
Literally feeling him will show him you’re “feeling him.” A guy will feel wanted if he thinks his wife can’t keep her hands off of him. It doesn’t have to even lead to anything sexual. All it takes is a pat on the butt or a bicep squeeze.
5. Just say it.
Your husband should never have to wonder if you find him attractive. If you think there’s any doubt, just come out and say it.Your husband should never have to wonder if you find him attractive. If you think there’s any doubt, just come out and say it. Click To Tweet
Set a goal for no kiss between you and your husband to last less than 10 seconds. Breathe together as you kiss and lean into his body. A passionate kiss is a great way to make a man feel desired. Think you have kissing down pat? Take iMOM’s 14 Day Kiss Your Husband Challenge.
7. Take him shopping.
Women know better than anyone how a new outfit can make you feel. Maybe your husband doesn’t want to go along, but the idea is to get him clothes that make him feel good. If he’s feeling sloppy, he probably feels that way too.
8. Buy a gift for yourself that’s actually for him.
This one might take you out of your comfort zone, but I don’t think any guy would doubt a woman’s attraction to him if she purchased something sexy for herself and wore it for him.
9. Ask for his help.
When my husband and I started dating, I made it clear that I didn’t need his help. I wanted to come across as independent and self-reliant. Now I know he feels good when he helps people, so even though I don’t need to lean on him, I want to.
10. Never compare him negatively to other men.
Put yourself in his place. If he said, “Your friend who you walk with every day has lost weight, but you haven’t,” or “Your sister’s house is always clean, so apparently you didn’t get the tidy gene,” how would you feel? Negative comparison is dangerous and hurtful. Husbands and wives should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders.
Do you have ideas for how to make a man feel desired? What works for your husband?