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3 Things That Helped Bring Me Out of Depression

During the pandemic, the rate of depression in adults tripled. I was part of these statistics. Like the rest of the country, I had been in quarantine for several months and was overwhelmed by the shift of having everyone at home and meeting all their needs with no end in sight. Carrying the weight of my children’s emotions, having nowhere to retreat to, plus worries over COVID brought me to a place where I felt that I needed to walk away. Moms with depression know this feeling.

I suffered this in silence, putting on a façade of happiness and gratitude, while at the same time praying for God just to take me. I thought if I could just walk away, no one would miss me, no one would notice. If I could just—leave. But I knew how that would affect my family. It would turn their lives upside down and I knew that if I left, they would have to deal with the wound of Mom not being there. I had to get out of this pit. For them. For myself. Here are the 3 things that brought me out.

Therapy

Because we compare our lives so much, many moms with depression feel like going to a therapist is like admitting that they are failing as a wife and mother. But eventually, I knew it was the best choice. Online sessions gave me the freedom of getting help at my own pace from the privacy of my home. My therapist helped me see my situation from a different perspective, without feeling pessimistic. She showed me how to look at it as something I could overcome. And a good therapist will know when to recommend medication if talking through the issues isn’t enough.

Thanks to our sessions, I have come to realize that focusing on the past blocks the joys life is offering me now. I refocused my life to invest positive energy into the good things, and avoid investing negative energy into the things I cannot change.

Community

Like poet John Donne said, “No man is an island.” We are all interconnected. And as moms, most of us experience a lot of the same things. Being intentional about reaching out and having weekly meetings with friends helped me see that I am not alone. There are so many more moms with depression and anxiety than any of us would believe.

Breaking down walls instead of building them moves our attention off of ourselves and onto others, which helps us gain perspective.  It is not all about me; there are people out there with bigger problems. Perspective did its job and it also helped cement friendships that I will cherish for a long time.

Journaling and Prayer

Many moms don’t journal because they feel like they don’t have time or they simply don’t like it. But investing time in journaling and prayer allows us to give life to our emotions and needs. In the darkest of times, I solely relied on journaling. I would write down every thought, mindlessly writing for about three pages. Although sometimes this would leave me emotionally drained because of the emotions and thoughts it tapped into, many other times the thoughts and ideas that stemmed from this brain dump would give me release and energy.

When I didn’t have time to journal, I would just pray. This helped me sort out my thoughts and made me realize that I was depressed and needed to seek help.

Have you experienced depression because of the pandemic or other parenting or marriage issues? What did you do to overcome it?

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