“Whew! There comes that good-looking guy I fell in love with the first time I saw him!” I heard a friend say that to her husband and watched his face light up. They’ve been married almost 30 years, and she knows how to inspire him.
If you’re already encouraging your husband, you’re well on your way to inspiring him too. And when a husband feels inspired by his wife, his connection to you and his marriage grows.
1. Inspire your husband to be honest about his feelings.
Another long-married friend of mine says you and your husband need to be able to be honest with each other. That doesn’t mean you live life uncensored, but it does mean you share important feelings or concerns honestly and lovingly with a goal of being transparent. (Our Q & U app makes it easy!)
It’s so much better when your husband feels safe enough to share his feelings with you. To inspire him to do that, refrain from getting defensive, panicking, or telling him why he shouldn’t feel the way he feels. Listen calmly and respond lovingly.
2. Inspire your husband through empathy.
The other night I was irritated with my husband about something. I can’t remember what it was, but I was feeling none too loving. Just then, he turned toward me. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked exhausted. In that moment I felt such compassion for him. I thought about how many hours he had worked that day and his long drive to and from work.
Instead of snapping at him, I hugged him. Empathy gets us out of ourselves long enough to truly register the needs of our husband. When they feel like we have their back and that we’re willing to share their burdens, it inspires them to keep going.
3. Inspire your husband to overcome life’s challenges.
A top marriage researcher found that nearly 70 percent of couples reported a drop in relationship satisfaction during the first three years of their baby’s life. If a couple knows that a challenge is on the horizon, they can better prepare for it. Talk to your husband about your “couples approach” for handling the tough times. You can even come up with a plan of action like — ask how the other person is doing; ask how you can help; pray together.
If a couple knows that a challenge is on the horizon, they can better prepare for it.
It’s tough to feel inspired when you feel like someone’s expectations are so sky high or out of whack that it’s inevitable you’ll let them down. Be clear with your husband that you don’t expect him or your marriage to be perfect. The relief that will give him will inspire him to move forward with less weight on his shoulders. Your ultimate inspiration move is letting him know that you are always there for him and that you believe in his ability to vanquish his challenges.
4. Inspire your husband to take the high road.
If you can stay on the high road, it’s a whole lot easier to inspire your husband to take it too. One of the most destructive patterns in marriage is escalation. Your husband gets angry at you and you dish it right back with even more vigor. If you instead choose to stay calm, that’s de-escalation. When you take this approach you’re inspiring him by showing him that an argument doesn’t have to lead to war.
Much of what we do in life to inspire others, including our husbands, is to lead by example. If you do that and show your husband you believe in him with your words as well, you’ll go a long way in encouraging your husband.
What’s your go-to for inspiring and encouraging your husband?
