My first two children were only fourteen months apart. By the time my second one was due I had gained confidence as a mom. But that confidence was short lived. Both girls wanted me for some reason or another. When the baby was in the swing I felt guilty for not holding her as much as I had my first. And when I was nursing the newborn and couldn’t get up for the toddler wanting something, I felt guilty. When my third daughter showed up five years later, the guilt of not being enough had to be conquered. I had to lower the standards I had for myself and focus on what I was doing really well. I used these tips on how to overcome guilt to push past this negative cycle of thinking.
It’s time to overcome the guilt trap. Here’s how…..
Realize that God factored your inadequacies into the equation.
Perfection is never demanded by the God who fashioned us as humans. And since He doesn’t expect absolute perfection, we need to give ourselves more credit for doing a good job. Without an owner’s manual, parenting is a learning curve through trial and error. This was assumed when you were given these beautiful children.
Perfection is never demanded by the God who fashioned us as humans. And since He doesn’t expect absolute perfection, we need to give ourselves more credit for doing a good job.
Don’t let comparison to others tell you if you’re a good mom or not.
When you look at someone else’s life and come to conclusions about yourself, you are measuring with an incomplete ruler. You really don’t know what their life is like 24/7. You can’t see their sink full of dishes or the forgotten child at dance class. They’re making plenty of their own mistakes. You’re just not seeing them.
Focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses.
There are so many things you do really well. As a mom, focusing on your gifts and talents over your weaknesses can build your confidence. It’s easy to become success blind when it comes to what a good mom you really are. Take a moment to identify those things.
Play with your kids.
Guilt is hard to overcome but taking the time to ignore the guilty thoughts and spending the time to connect with your kids will fortify your belief in yourself. Just as Jesus told Martha, Mary is doing what is right. If you are focusing on your kids over all the menial tasks, you are doing what is right.
Moms, what are you doing really well?