I am a mom to four kids. There is always one child that is going through a learning period or a rough spot. I have had to learn to be a strong mom. Being that mom is not easy; in fact, a lot of moms shy away from the strong mom role. Being a strong mom means parenting in a way that may make you uncomfortable because it’s not easy or your child may be unhappy with you.
Recently, I was that mom twice in one week. I made the decision to cancel plans with others last minute because that was the consequence for two different behaviors I had been working with two different children on. It was disappointing as I was looking forward to both events and uncomfortable because I had to let the other moms know that we needed to cancel so I could deal with a behavior.
Being a strong mom isn’t easy but it’s worth the reward in the end as your child realizes they can count on your word. You will do what you say you will do, practice what you teach, and do what it takes to help lead them to make better choices. Today, I want to share with you what a strong mom looks like.
1. Strong Moms Don’t Give Empty Threats.
Follow through. Follow through. Follow through. Don’t give a threat you do not actually plan to carry out. If you tell your child you aren’t going to the youth activity if you do not finish your homework and 5 p.m. rolls around and homework is not complete then stand firm. Yes, I know it’s hard and disappointing, but your child isn’t going to ever know when to trust your word and take you seriously if you never follow through.
2. Strong Moms Admit Failure.
We all lose our cool from time to time. The difference between strong mom and mediocre mom is strong mom asks for forgiveness from her kids when she has messed up. So many times I have had to go to my kids and ask for forgiveness and hit the Restart button on our day. I am not perfect. I let my kids know daily that I make mistakes, I don’t always get it right, but I can ask for forgiveness when I mess up and ask God for help when I am at a loss on what to do.
3. Strong Moms Listen.
I asked my 8-year-old what makes an awesome mom. He said, “An awesome mom is one that listens and responds to their kids the right way.” When I asked him if he could expand on that a little further, he said, “A mom who is responding using God’s word. Talks it out.” Kids want/need a voice. Sometimes they just need to waste the extra 30 minutes before bedtime telling you all of the dreams they have had in the last month. I know, we are all singing praises at bedtime. You are spent. I get it. Sometimes, though, I have the best time just listening to them when everyone else is in bed and no one else is awake to call on mom for help.
4. Strong Moms Don’t Care.
Look, I’ve had to cancel playdates, zoo trips, and church events because of their behavior. I’m okay with being that mom that sends out the mass text to the other mothers that we have had a last minute change of plans based on behavior. I am ok with taking away a privilege and being embarrassed because I was that mom who had to send the text. I don’t care, and you know why? Because my child’s heart means more to me than everyone else’s ideas of what kind of parent I am. If a child is struggling and we’ve been working on a particular trait and they aren’t showing me that they are taking it seriously or improving, then I wipe our slate clean. We become buddies and I spend time working with the child that is struggling to get to the root of the issue. Character is important; we have to help them build it the right way or those issues will stick around forever. iMom has a great Strength and Struggle chart to help you get started.
5. Strong mom takes risks for her kids in the kind of way that makes them a better person.
We all have this idea that being Supermom is the way to go. While juggling a family, getting an amazing dinner on the table, and having the house clean is super amazing, I want to be more like Strong Mom. At the end of the day, Strong Mom is going to help make the world a better place because the adults that will come from her home will be people of integrity—confident (because they had a great listener and cheerleader) and accountable (because they learned early that even as an adult, it’s important to admit when you are wrong). That will set them apart from most adults right off the bat. She’s leading by example, showing her kids what matters most, and knows their heart.
What are some risks that you have taken to be a strong mom?
Tara Norman is a homeschoolng SAHM to four kids and has been married 10 years to the love of her life, Paul Norman.
