Does date night sound like this? “What do you want to do tonight?” “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” “I don’t know. Is there anything good at the movies?” Then you find yourself sitting in a dark theater, not talking to each other, having paid to watch a dud of a movie you didn’t want to see anyway.
Pulling off a date night is no easy feat for busy parents, so why do the same old things when you go out? Novelty can change everything. When you inject something different into your date night, you get those romantic brain chemicals going, the ones that made dating your husband so much fun in the first place. If you want to fire up those chemicals on your next date with your husband, try one of these 5 things.
1. If you normally don’t do it, do it.
Break out of your mold. If you already go dancing on date night, try karaoke. If you’ve never hiked together, head outdoors. When you’re thinking of where to go, try this trick: picture yourself driving in the other direction. Downtown, where the good restaurants sit, is west of where I live. So my brain always pictures us driving west. If I shift my thoughts east, I see lakes, parks, and antique stores. It’s a whole new world of date opportunities!
2. Say no to shop talk.
My girlfriend and I joke that when we get together, it’s like a free therapy session. We like to share our troubles, talk about issues with the kids, and lament about the inefficiency of our school’s car line. It’s great for bonding. But most men don’t feel that same catharsis when discussing problems because they like to offer solutions.
When you’re on a date night, hold off on lamenting about the promotion you didn’t get. Don’t delve into problems with the kids or the washer. That will put your husband in problem-solver mode and damper your date. Agree ahead of time which topics—like finances, in-laws, or house issues—are off limits. Try an ALLY date if you want to really connect.
3. Turn on the ooo-la-la.
Pull out all of the stops on getting ready for your date night. You don’t have to dress like you’re attending a black tie event, but get add an extra punch here and there—a favorite perfume, freshly washed hair that smells good (This one takes a big effort some days!), and flattering clothes instead of something that screams “comfortable.”
4. Start on the right track.
The hour leading up to your date can make it or break it. So give yourself time to get ready. Have things planned for the kids or give the sitter a list of ideas she can do while you’re getting ready to head out the door. If the afternoon was rocky or you were snippy trying to get out the door, take a deep breath when you get in the car. Take your husband’s hand, look at him, and smile as you tell him you’re looking forward to your date. Hitting the reset button before a night out with your husband can be the difference between a stressful date and a romantic one.
Hitting the reset button before a night out with your husband can be the difference between a stressful date and a romantic one. Click To Tweet5. Go for the surprise.
If you always plan your date night, let your husband take a stab at it. If he’s the planner, you take charge. Being surprised will be part of the fun of the night. Remember point one, though. Do something different. Promise each other you won’t have any expectations—just appreciation that the other person put thought into the evening and all you had to do was go along for the ride!
What does a typical date night in your marriage look like?
