Search
Close this search box.

Share what kind of mom you are!

Get to know other mom types!

6 Ways to Respond When Your Husband Annoys You

Lately, when my husband gets home from work, he goes straight to the couch where he opens his laptop and stays until dinner. After dinner, he goes back to the couch and computer until bedtime. I’m not gonna lie. It weighs on me, and I’m annoyed. I want him more involved. What kind of example is he setting for the kids?

But at some point, I decided to think about it differently: He’s exhausted from starting a new job, so maybe that’s all he has to give right now. We don’t have to ignore marital problems, but sometimes, responding differently can give you a new perspective. Next time you’re annoyed by your husband, try one of these six ways to respond.

1. Put yourself in his shoes.

The next time your husband is annoying you, ask yourself, What’s going on right now? Is there something else behind the way he’s acting? Maybe he’s stressed about work; maybe he’s afraid of getting old; maybe he took something you said the wrong way. More than likely, he’s not trying to annoy you, so assume the best.

2. Choose your 10s.

I don’t want my husband to see me as someone who criticizes his every move, so I have to choose my 10s. Tens are the things that really matter to you personally. The rest (non-10s) are small potatoes. For me, a 10 is dishes in the sink. I don’t like food (even small crumbs) being in the sink overnight, so if the dinner dishes are done and he gets a late snack, he knows to clean up after himself. Other things, like clothes on the floor or the condition of the garage, aren’t 10s for me, so I try to let them go.

3. Look at yourself.

When I get annoyed at my husband, I consider if something is going on with me. Is my tiredness making me less patient? Am I getting my period? Have my kids frustrated me, and I blamed him?

4. Change your specs.

In other words, look at your husband differently, more positively. You don’t have to put on rose-colored glasses, but it does help to remind yourself of all of the positive things about your husband. If you find yourself struggling to come up with the good in him, look over this list of 99 things you might be thankful for about your husband.

5. Talk to him kindly.

There does come a point when it’s OK to bring up the things that annoy you. It’s wise to address them before they become big marital problems. It’s a better alternative than keeping your feelings to yourself until you explode. There are probably other feelings beneath the annoyance, so try using “I feel” language like “When you stay out late with friends, I feel scared that you aren’t safe.”

6. Focus on your relationship.

Maybe your annoyances with your husband are pointing to a weak spot in your marriage. Are you annoyed that he spends too much time scrolling Twitter or Reddit? Maybe it’s a sign you’re just coexisting and not sharing your lives with one another. Take a few minutes to look at these three easy ways to strengthen your marriage this week. Be honest with yourself about how you feel so you can be honest with your husband.

Maybe your annoyances with your husband are pointing to a weak spot in your marriage. Click To Tweet

What do you do to keep annoyances from becoming bigger marital problems?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

What would you say to a friend who hurt your feelings?

Get daily motherhood

ideas, insight, &inspiration

to your inbox!

Search