Even in elementary school, my son understood the thrill of sharing a photo, racking up likes, and feeling that little dopamine rush whenever he’d ask me to post something on my Facebook page. That gave me an early glimpse of how social media was shaping his view of the world—and I didn’t love it.
Turns out, my gut feeling was right about the negative effects of social media on teens.
Research published in JAMA Pediatrics in 2024 showed that the more time teens spend on social media, the more likely they are to struggle with anxiety and depression (or even unexplained stomachaches and headaches). And U.S. teens average 4.8 hours per day on social media, enough to put most kids at real risk for mental health struggles.
Yes, you can check your teen’s screen time report, but there are subtler warning signs that social media is becoming unhealthy—like these 3.
1. Her real life and her curated life don’t match.
When you take in the manicured lives of other people via TikTok, Snapchat, or Instagram, it’s nearly impossible not to compare yourself to them—that girl’s makeup, that guy’s jawline, the way she pouts so perfectly. If you find your child’s posts about herself look different from her life in reality, it’s a sign she’s trying to appear to be something she’s not. Feeling the need to present an inauthentic life is a sign that social
media is turning into an unhealthy habit.
A Mom’s Response: First, you have to know what your kids are posting, which means you need access to their accounts and to be aware if they have fake accounts. Time to do some digging and monitoring. Also, do a reality check with them after they spend time on social media. Ask questions like, “How do you feel about yourself after you scroll?”
Download our free printable, Hashtag Real Talk: Conversation Starters about the Digital World, for easy, low-stress questions to ask.
2. Real-life accomplishments and experiences don’t matter as much.
Anyone who has spent too much time on social media has fallen for the lie that “If I don’t post it, it didn’t happen!” My friend’s daughter swam a personal best, and as soon as she accepted her medal, she grabbed her phone to post a photo. My friend said, “Why grab your phone? Just enjoy the moment.” Her daughter’s response was, “This is how I enjoy it. By sharing it.”
A Mom’s Response: If you notice that your child isn’t finding joy in life when she’s detached from her phone, it’s time to schedule some intentional time away from it. Get outdoors. Help your child discover a new hobby and be willing to invest in it. Get to the heart of the matter with questions like, “If no one else knew what was happening right now, how would that change the way you feel?” or “Who do you hope is seeing this, and who are you trying to impress?”
3. He gets anxious when he’s not on his phone.
I’ve found myself carrying my phone from my bedroom to the kitchen for no reason. Meanwhile, my father will run errands for a day and leave his phone at home. That’s two different generations on display. Take that up about 20 notches to kids today, who have never been without cell phone access, and it’s easy to see how they can feel like it’s as essential as oxygen. One of the effects of social media on children is that they see disconnection from it as a disconnection from life.
A Mom’s Response: Your child’s mental health is worth taking action over. Put all the phones in a lock box at night. Yours too. Just leave one out to serve as the house phone. Make meals, car rides, and any other important times phone-free. Don’t expect your kids to go quietly on this one, but like all good things (I’m giving social media a lot of grace here), moderation is key.
What effects of social media on children have you noticed? What are you doing to push back against them?
