“You could flirt a little” was the wrong thing to say…
A few moments earlier, while standing around at a wedding reception’s cocktail hour, I asked my husband if he liked my dress. He said yes, to which I replied, “You’re not acting like you do.” Judging by the look on his face as he downed a bacon-wrapped scallop, he was confused. He said, “What am I supposed to do?” and I tossed my flirting comment grenade.
This started a spirited conversation about how he shows his interest in me despite not being the most romantic guy. He listed ways he actually does flirt, and to my surprise, there were many I just never noticed, or brushed off because I was looking for compliments and grand gestures. But if flirting is showing your interest in someone in a lighthearted way, then there are actually a lot of ways the average unromantic husband flirts. Don’t miss one of these 10 subtle ways your husband is flirting with you.
1. He comes to you for a kiss when he walks in the door (or when you do).
This small act might seem routine, but it’s actually a conscious choice to reconnect after being apart for the day. It’s an intentional gesture that speaks volumes.
2. He brings things up about when you were first dating or newlyweds.
This shows he cherishes those memories and the feelings associated with them. He’s reminiscing about the spark you shared and subtly reminding you (and himself) that it’s still there.
3. He winks at you.
If your unromantic husband tends to stumble over his words, then a wink might be his sweet spot. It’s classic flirting, allowing the unsaid to say it all.
4. He tells you the ways he admires you.
“Roses are red” might sound like the start of classic romance, but words that truly capture your value and worth require thought and intention.
5. He carries in the groceries.
This might seem like a mundane chore, but it’s an act of service. He’s taking a load off your shoulders and saying, “I’ve got this.” Show you’re impressed by how he carried it all in one trip (because you know that was his goal), and he’ll feel like the world’s strongest man.
6. He drives to the store when you drop subtle hints.
When you say, “I wish we had a gallon of mint chocolate chip” and he zips out the door, he’s paying attention to your desires. He wants to make you happy and is willing to go the extra mile (literally).
7. He sends you Instagram reels that make him think of you.
This shows he’s thinking about you even when you’re apart. He’s sharing something that made him smile and wants to share that joy with you.
8. He puts gas in your car.
It’s another act of service that shows he cares about your comfort and convenience. He’s taking care of a task you might not enjoy, which is a way of saying, “I’m here for you.” It makes him feel like he’s providing for you, which is old-school flirty.
9. He tries to make you laugh.
Resist the urge to roll your eyes when your husband tosses out a dad joke. If there was a lot of laughter in your relationship in the early years, his humor might be a form of flirting. He wants you both to feel that carefree feeling that often defines a relationship in its initial stage. Or, he just wants you to be happy and laugh, and that’s fun and flirty, too!
10. He texts you from work to say hi.
Imagine a 16-year-old boy texting “hi” to the girl he has a crush on. There’s a lot packed in those two letters. The same is true for your unromantic husband. Just because he’s not 16 anymore, it doesn’t mean “hi” has lost its flirtiness. He wants to connect and make sure you know he’s thinking about you.
Still unconvinced your unromantic husband is flirting?
“He’s not flirting. He’s just being a nice guy. I want romance!”
We often think romance must be extravagant or showy, but meaningful gestures are often the everyday ones. These acts of love and support build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship, showing your husband is present, attentive, and invested in your happiness. Your unromantic husband’s subtle flirting might be more romantic than anything in a rom-com novel because he weaves affection into your life together. Don’t forget to reciprocate—a sweet kiss or a squeeze of his bicep shows you’ve still got the hots for him, too.
If you think, “Nope, he doesn’t do any of this,” it might be time for a talk. “Babe, I love that you hold my hand in the parking lot. Think we could add more flirtation to our marriage?” Pointing out something you like and sharing that you’re willing to put in effort might inspire him to raise his flirtation game.
What unconventional way does your husband show you he’s thinking about you?
