I have two daughters. The oldest is 16 years old and is right in the middle of teenager-dom. The other is 9 and sneaking up on the tween years. As a young woman, there are struggles between still wanting to be a kid and growing into an adult. One of the main challenges is their self-image. And it starts at way too early an age, if you ask me. As I watch each of my daughters grow, memories creep in of the never-ending wars in my mind about my own battles. Some thoughts I still struggle with even until now. And it’s so hard to watch my daughters start picking on themselves, too.
If you have a teen or tween daughter, you know how hard it is to watch their negative perception of themselves develop over time. As a mom, you try your best to divert the “I’m so ugly” and “I’m too fat” comments with positive ones. However, let’s be honest, 99.9 percent of the time it feels like my compliments fall on deaf ears.That’s why I wanted to write a letter to my daughter. Sometimes it’s easier to write my feelings, without interruptions or starting an argument. She might roll her eyes in the moment. But she’ll read and re-read it later when she needs the encouragement the most. Please feel free to use it for your daughter, too.
To my lovely daughter,
I see you look at yourself in the mirror and frown. I see you look at the number on the scale and hang your head.
It may be hard for you to believe the words I want to say to you in this letter. That’s okay. Please keep this letter in a safe place so you will always know how your dad and I see you.
You are beautiful:
God’s fingerprints are all over each part of you. You may not be pleased with the break-outs or the unruly bed head hair. But your eyes were made to see the good – not only in other people – but in yourself. Your mouth, with or without your favorite lip gloss, was given to you to speak words of life.
You have significance:
Throughout life, people and circumstances will hurt you deeply. Friends come and go. But no matter what, you are on this earth for a purpose. It’s your job to rise above adversity and be the remarkable woman we know you are.
You can live your dream:
When you work hard and with passion, you can do anything you put your mind to, even get that dream job you always wanted.
You are capable of more than you think:
Push yourself. Always learn. Pursue your dreams with passion. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t.
Love with all of your heart:
I’ve seen you form wonderful friendships through high school. You all truly care for one another and have each other’s backs. I’ve even heard you say you love them. It makes my mama’s heart so proud. Continue to surround yourself with great friends. Keep caring deeply, even when it’s hard.
Always wear SPF on your face:
I started too late, but it’s not too late for you. Take care of your body and skin. You’ll never regret that, especially when you turn 45 and you’re one of the few without wrinkles.
There is so much more I could say, but one thing to always remember: love God and love the way He created you. Keep your heart and mind aligned with these things I’ve written. You’ll save yourself a lot of worries and uncertainties that way.
I love you,
Mom
Your child can also use this guide to help them know that they are valued in so many ways.
Don’t miss the chance to write down all these other things your daughter should know. Make sure Dad doesn’t forget to tell your daughter these important words too.
What would you include in a letter to your daughter?
Lori Clapper is a radio personality, freelance writer, editor, speaker, mom to three kids, and is married to an incredible guy.
