“Mom, you’re being annoying,” my son said, not meeting my eye. “Really?” I asked. He’s said so a handful of times in the last few months and each time, I’ve told him it’s disrespectful. He shouldn’t call me “annoying.” But I can sort of understand his point.
Usually, when he says I’m annoying, I’m doing something any mom might do to irritate a teen—ask about his day, ask about his friends, ask if he likes my dance moves. Sometimes all at once. Maybe I’m just kidding. The point is, I’m showing interest in him or trying to be funny and he’s just not having it in that moment. But I’m fine with that. I figure if I’m “annoying” him, I’m actually just being an interested, loving, and sometimes funny mom. So even though we need to quash the disrespect, here are 5 reasons being an “annoying” mom really just means you’re a good mom.
1. You’re involved in your child’s life.
When I sense my child needs a break from the noise and busyness of a long school day, I wait to ask questions. But, after he’s had dinner, I figure it’s fair game to inquire about his day. When he’s grown, he’ll remember that I cared enough to sit with him, even in the silence.
It’s important not to be a complete wall of sound or you’ll risk driving your child away. But if you can provide some balance between talking and just sitting, you’re letting him know you’re there for him. And that’s just being a good mom. Quite simply, if you were never around, you couldn’t be annoying.
2. You care and you don’t quit.
I try not to take it personally if my child calls me an annoying mom. If it happens to you, point out that words hurt and can damage relationships. But remember that when we’re “annoying,” we’re usually preventing our kids from doing something else. Who wants a homework reminder while playing video games?
You care enough to stay on top of your child’s responsibilities. That’s not annoying. That’s helping your child succeed.
3. You get her out of her comfort zone.
“It’s your turn,” Amy said to her daughter. “You’re next!” She gave Myla a little poke in the side as they stood in line for the diving board. “Mom, stop,” Myla whispered. “You’re so annoying.” Amy ignored her and grinned. “You can do it, girl! Go!”
Sometimes it’s just part of a mom’s job description to be a bit annoying. You want your kid to grow and build those life skills, like courage, that you know will benefit her.
Sometimes it’s just part of a mom's job description to be a bit annoying. Click To Tweet4. You get opportunities to teach him about respect and kindness.
“Oh, you don’t like me dancing in the kitchen? Well, I’m having fun and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t call names.” Humbled, my son went back to his cereal with a mumbled, “Sorry.”
There are times we embarrass our kids or do something they don’t like. But we want them to learn to respect others’ differences. I don’t mind being an “annoying” mom when I’m just being myself. So, I’m not going to stop dancing and I am going to give him lots of practice learning to be kind about it.
5. You have strength and wisdom.
Does your mere presence annoy your kid? Or is it your tap on her bedroom door? I have to remind myself at times that she’s a kid and going through a lot of changes during adolescence. I might be annoying to her today, but tomorrow may be different.
If you’re “annoying,” chances are, you have the strength to keep showing up for your child. You’ve been through the teen years yourself, and that wisdom helps you better relate to her, knowing what it’s like. Just keep doing what you’re doing, Mom, and pray she’ll someday see your “annoyingness” as the real gift it is.
When you’re being an annoying mom, do you think about the ways it benefits your kids?
